Monday, October 30, 2006

Steelers vs. Raiders Review

I'm going to make this as short as possible, because I'm still really, really bitter about it.

This team has not been focused all year. The Raiders were ready for us, they were fired up, and they were firing off the line of scrimmage on defense. We came out flat, Ben looked confused and tentative most of the day (wouldn't you if you had suffered two concussions in four months?), and, worst of all, we couldn't run the ball.

A lot of folks figured we'd have trouble throwing the ball against the #1 pass defense in the NFL. The Raiders did a great job against Arizona the week before and Arizona's a much better passing team than we are. But they had the 26th ranked run defense coming into the game.

And we outgained them 363-98. And they only converted one of six on third down.

Dumb penalties, special teams yards, and turnovers. Dumb penalties, special teams yards, and turnovers. We had FOUR personal fouls in this game. FOUR! Two taunting penalties, a roughing the passer/late hit call that I thought was pretty bogus, and a horse-collar tackle. I really thought they didn't call the horse-collar anymore, if they ever really did. I'm not complaining. Seriously. Troy got away with one in the Super Bowl. Someone horse-collared Fast Willie in the Atlanta game. I really don't care, I just wish the refs would be more consistent. It's not something subjective like pass interference or holding. Either you grab the guy and pull him down by his shoulders or you don't.

For those of you keeping score at home, those four personal fouls went for a total of 60 yards, or 3/5 of OAKLAND'S TOTAL YARDS FOR THE DAY.

This game reminded me an awful (emphasis on awful) lot of the Texans game in 2002. Tommy was coming off a neck injury and looked like a three year old that just learned you shouldn't touch the stove. Remember how he called a timeout with ONE SECOND remaining in the third quarter, 15 seconds left on the play clock, and the clock running? Ben reminded me a lot of that. He just didn't seem to see defenders, looked like he was afraid to scramble (in 2004, he would've jumped head-first into the end zone on that 4th and goal play at the end of the game), and you could tell that Whisenhunt was calling plays in the red zone with all his fingers and toes crossed and his eyes closed. They just didn't trust him to make a play. And he didn't trust himself. Which begs the question...

WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING IN THE GAME, THEN!?!?!?!

Just throwing it out there. You can't bench him against the Broncos or Saints, because, seriously, we still need him. But you can definitely bench him against Oakland. And he should've been sitting down for this game. Or, at least, been the back-up. If the line knows Batch is in there and we're definitely going to be running the ball 40 times in the game, I think they get off to a better start. I also think Batch doesn't throw those two interceptions that were returned for scores (or any picks, really). I really think we would've won with Batch in there.

But, I don't think we stand a chance against Denver and New Orleans without a healthy Roethlisberger. Therein lies the conundrum.

And... the joy of being 2-5. Which basically means that we're screwed for the rest of the season. While it's possible that we could go on a 9-0 run (anything's possible; man landed on the moon), we really need to go 11-5 or at least 10-6 to win the division/make the playoffs.

Even if we make the playoffs, this team doesn't have it in them to do what they did last year. Part of that's the players, part of that's the coaches, but part of it is that there's a freakin' reason no #6 seed has ever won the Super Bowl. It's really tough to do. Everything came together last year and we caught a lot of breaks. We played pretty much mistake free. No dumb ass penalties. Special teams was a difference for us in our favor, not to our detriment. Maybe this team isn't as talented as I thought. Maybe we just got lucky. Playing our best at just the right time and all those cliches.

But, hey, we won the Super Bowl. I'll take it.

A Couple Random Thoughts:

Verron Haynes is gone for the season. So is Arnold Harrison. While neither of these is a huge deal, it also means Davenport or Parker will be the third down back. Or... Duce. Nah, that's crazy talk. I really think we should have Duce clean the toilets at the practice facility or get people Gatorade on game day. Have him do something for the $2.5 million we're paying him.

Harrison will be missed on special teams, but he was undrafted and a back-up for a reason. Haynes really found a niche for himself as the third down back, though. I think that was one of the big things Whisenhunt really missed at the end of the game. There were three or four situations in the fourth quarter where I thought to myself, "This would be a perfect situation to run a slip-screen or a draw play," only to realize that we couldn't, because Parker and Davenport aren't the third down back for a reason.

Jeff Hartings is out for an undisclosed period of time. And, I hate to say it, but his knees were bound to give out eventually. He's in the last year of his contract. We need to get Okobi in there sooner rather than later. Now that this season is shot (though I still think we can go 9-7), we need to put Hartings on IR and throw Okobi in there.

One of the reasons the team has struggled is the attitude and aggression has not been there on the offensive line. The pass blocking has been terrible. Max Starks got abused by Derrick Burgess yesterday. The run blocking has been sporadic, at best. Maybe some new blood along the line will revitalize it.

Then again, those guys are back-ups for a reason...

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Okay...

I was a little overexcited about the fact that I want the Steelers to kick the holy shit out of the Raiders and I forgot to mention a few things:
  1. Batch needs to start. Seriously. With everything that has happened to Ben in the last four months, we now need to add that he was the tender roast beef in a 900 pounds-of-man-flesh sandwich. And he was concussed. There's no way he was fine. There's no way he didn't sustain some sort of head trauma. It's not possible. Especially when you factor in that the 900 pounds of man-flesh was moving at 300 miles an hour and covered in Kevlar. Batch went to Steel Valley. He's local. He's thrown 5 TD passes and no INTs in 5 1/2 quarters of play. He's funny in the McDonald's commercials. People like him. MY MOM wants him to start and she thinks good penetration... okay, I'm not going to finish that thought. What needs to happen to Ben for Cowher to not say he looks good in practice? Does he need to tear a ligament? Get his right arm chopped off in a freak garbage disposal incident? I'm beginning to think this is a conspiracy that goes up to the highest levels. I'm thinking the Rooneys have some type of double endemnity clause on Ben where they get $100 million if he survives a bunch of life-threatening accidents and still manages to start 15 games. Bottom line, it's the Raiders. They're one of the worst teams of the last 30 years, definitely the worst team of the century thus far. We can beat them with Batch.
  2. We need to run the ball a lot early. Out of a three wide receiver formation. When the ball is snapped, Wilson, Ward, and Washington need to find the closest member of Oakland's secondary and punish them. Oakland's secondary prides itself on being physical and our receivers (Ward aside) are considered soft. They won't be as likely to jam our guys at the line of scrimmage if they're still smarting from the hit they took two plays ago. I don't care if it's away from the play. I don't care if it's after the play. Or even if they have to miss their assignment in order to knock some Oakland DB's teeth into his watch pocket. This is important. We need to beat them physically, mentally, emotionally, and on the scoreboard.
  3. Tom Walsh, Oakland's offensive coordinator, spent the last 11 years running a bed and breakfast in Idaho. I would venture to say that he's forgotten a lot about gameplanning the last decade or so. Dick LeBeau needs to take advantage of this and Oakland's pourous offensive line and pressure the hell out of the quarterback. Hopefully, that quarterback is Andrew Walter.
  4. I predict a 48-7 victory. If nothing else because I like to think it's possible and I want us to beat the Raiders worse than we beat the Chiefs.

Steelers vs. Raiders Preview

I've been waiting to write this preview all season. I've been looking forward to it. And, I know what you're saying. "Gee, Keller, if you were soooooo looking forward to writing this, why are you posting it on Thursday night?" I have no response. Well, none except for: Eat me. It's a free blog.

There are two reasons I've been looking forward to this game/preview all year.

One, it's the Raiders. I have a special kind of hatred for the Raiders. They're kind of like your dickhead cousin that you only see periodically at family reunions and special events, like when a mutual cousin or a relative that's close to both of you geographically gets married. When you hear about them, you're a little mad. But, at least they're family. When the Raiders went to the Super Bowl, I was pissed, but I was happy that the AFC might stand a chance in the big game. I was wrong there, too, but at least I rooted for family (AFC) rather than seething hatred.

My point is that I don't really hate the Raiders when we're not playing them. There's a deeply rooted hatred for Oakland that beats in the heart of every Steeler fan. However, THAT WAS THIRTY FREAKIN' YEARS AGO. I hate Baltimore and Cincinnati much more because we play them more often and they've beaten us in important games more recently. It's true that the Raiders wiped their collective asses with us in 2002 at Heinz Field. But, they were the team to beat and we were a bad game against the Browns from starting the Tommy Maddox Era. They ended up going to the Super Bowl and getting pasted by a Tampa squad that we owned on Monday Night, and we ended up going to overtime and not beating Atlanta. Do you see the symmetry this year?

This year, we're a wounded champion and they're a terrible, terrible team. I smell blood in the water. I'm channeling my inner Mike Kruczek and thinking about how the Raiders ruined the best season the Steelers ever could have had ('76, could've won three straight Super Bowls, let up only 26 points over 9 games at one point, only lost in the AFC Championship Game because Franco, Blier, and Lambert were hurt). We need to make these guys pay.

The other reason I'm looking forward to this game is that the Raiders SUCK. True, they finally got off the schneid and beat the hapless Cardinals last week. True, they have Randy Moss. And LaMont Jordan, the biggest cause of Fantasy Football related suicides since Daunte Culpepper. And that's it.

Look at their depth chart, for Christ's sake! Do you recognize any of their linebackers? I know three of their guys on defense. Warren Sapp because he used to be good in Tampa, Derrick Burgess because he had 15 sacks last year, and Michael Huff because he was drafted 7th overall this offseason. On offense, they look like they could use Lincoln Kennedy to roll his chubby ass out of the broadcast booth and suit up to play left tackle. Or right tackle. Or any position on the line, really. It's a good thing Joey Porter is probably going to play. He and Clark Haggans (or even Arnold Harrison or James Harrison) are going to make it a long day for whoever lines up under center for the Raiders.

It' most likely to be Andrew Walter. This kid set an NCAA record for fumbles during his career at Arizona State. He's a big guy (6'6", 245) with a HUGE arm, but he's brittle and his favorite food is the apple turnover. With a side of fumble. And an interception glaze. And he likes a little "agonizingly stupid play that makes everyone in the stands groan" in his coffee. The man makes Aaron Brooks look responsible enough to have sex with your sister.

Heading this 1-5 three ring circus (I know, they're only a game worse than the Steelers, but you just have to trust me) is former Raider and worst coach ever, Art Shell. Shell was hired after absolutely everyone with a pulse and the knowledge that a football is oblong and the thing you kick it through is called "the uprights" interviewed for the job. Did anyone catch the Monday night game against the Chargers on opening weekend? The Raiders couldn't block, couldn't tackle, and were getting completely slaughtered on national television. Shell looked wooden on the sidelines, like he was on the phone with his unsurance agent, listening to the subtle differences between full tort and limited tort coverage. To top it all off, he had his headset off and was talking to Randy Moss on the sidelines with under two minutes to play in the first half and the clock running. Under two minutes. Clock running. Headset off. Talking to Randy Moss. I really wish I was making this up.

We need to absolutely slaughter these guys. Pummel them. The Kansas City Chiefs need to look at the final score and say, "Damn! At least we didn't get beat that bad!" Picture a red-headed step-child. Seated on a rented mule. In a room with no windows. Bill Romonowski and Mike Tyson are there. They have jagged, rusty chains. And they've just had an eightball each and skinny, pale faced redheads have just been slapping them across the face for six straight hours without Romo and Tyson having the ability resist or fight back.

We need to murder these guys. I hate the Raiders. They must suffer.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Steelers vs. Falcons Review

Well, I guess I feel like an idiot. I predicted a big win. Ah, well.

You can't pin this one on Ben, the officials, the running into the kicker penalty (which I've taken to referring to as the tripping over the Polamalu penalty). You can't blame the run defense just because they folded in the fourth quarter and overtime.

You seriously have to blame Cowher. I mean, special teams have been a problem all year. Holmes muffs another punt and we give up 38,515 return yards. We outgained them and did better on third down. And even the 473-399 edge that we had in total yards is skewed by the fact that they held the ball for all but 25 seconds at the end of the game and piled up 114 yards. So, when it was still tied at 38, we outgained them 453-285. And were tied with them.

You can put dumb penalties and mental errors on the players to some degree. You can even say that they were put in a position to make plays and didn't (lots of missed tackles and dropped passes), but it ultimately comes down to the fact that Cowher has not had this team ready to play all season. We should've lost to Miami. We definitely could've won any of the other games we played this year, but we didn't. And it's because we're not focused, we're taking dumb penalties, doing stupid shit, and turning the ball over way too much. Fourteen times in 6 games. In 1995, we turned the ball over 15 times all year. So that's an issue.

We need to stop giving games away, play for an entire game (not just when we feel like it, like aginst Atlanta, Miami, Cincinnati or for one half, like San Diego, or not at all, like Jacksonville). We need to start showing some discipline for God's sake. I mean, the season might already be over, but we've still got a shot at winning 10 or 11 games.

We still get to play Oakland. I think we'll beat Denver. We still get to play Cleveland and Baltimore (not as good as advertised) twice. And Tampa. I think we'll have a real good shot against the Saints. And, we'll get to play Cincy at Cincy, which seems to work out better for us for some reason.

This is a very, very talented team that can beat anyone in the league. All they need to do is completely overhaul special teams and change their entire mental state. No problem.

Okay. That is a problem.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Steelers vs. Falcons Preview

We've gotta stop Mike Vick, right? I mean, he's the whole key to the offense, right? Well, sort of. Everybody pays so damn much attention to Michael Vick that they forget about the Jerious Norwoods and Warrick Dunns of the world. Warrick Dunn can flat out kill you. He was Fast Willie before Fast Willie was Fast Willie. Elusive, fast back that could catch passes. Book on him was that he was too small. Couldn't last a whole season. Ten years later? Well, football people are stupid.

I really think we can do a damn good job of containing Vick. Until we decided to stop playing defense in the 2002 game against Vick (that freakin' tie!) we owned Vick. The Falcons have a crappy pass defense, a small defensive line (three guys from that line are on the injury report, btw), and three crybaby receivers that suck more than a crack whore that's two weeks between fixes.

Our outside linebackers are faster and more athletic than your average defensive lineman. The fact that we have two of those guys and one fewer defensive lineman really works to our advantage. The key to beating Vick is by containing him from the outside and forcing him up the middle. Or, ya know, forcing the quarterback to throw the ball, but that's a different story. In that same 2002 game, Porter chased down Vick, caused a fumble, and recovered it. I really hope he plays. Porter and Haggans can at least chase the man down.

The Falcons have the best rushing offense in the NFL. They're averaging 234 rushing yards per game. Averaging 234 rushing yards a game. They've done most of that out of either a straight formation, running the ball between the tackles ocassionally, but mostly running the ball outside and running out of a shotgun-run-option with Vick. The Saints were able to contain this by staying disciplined and stretching the play out. The big issue with running to the outside is that you've got to deal with defenders trying to kill you and you've got to deal with the sideline. We need to force Vick and Dunn to go East-to-West. If they do a lot of North-to-South running, we're in deep, deep shit.

But, I think we can do it. Think of all the stretch, sweep, and off-tackle stuff everyone has run against us this year. They must have about 13 yards on 18 carries. Because our linemen play have such great gap discipline and our linebackers are very quick, it's extremely difficult to stretch us out and run wide on us. Madden and all those other jokers talk about Casey Hampton, Larry Foote, and James Farrior. The whole reason those guys get so many tackles is because teams know they can't run outside the tackles against us at all, so they settle for what they can get between the tackles.

When we have the ball, it's easy. Well, provided that the three guys that are hurt (their three best pass rushers) either are scratched from the line-up or play hurt. They're small anyway. As long as we stick to running the ball, we'll mow their skinny asses down. Football is a game of attrition. Fast guys get tired, big guys don't shrink.

All we have to do is not go pass crazy at the beginning of the game. Run the ball, be patient, run some screen passes and draw plays to Davenport and Fast Willie to slow down the pass rush, then try to victimize their old, slow safeties with deep passes off of playaction.

One issue: All 956 pounds of Grady Jackson. This dude is a load. The only guy on our offensive line that's even close to as big as Jackson is Chris Keameatu (or however the hell you spell that). Chis is fat, angry, and once got suspended for kicking a BYU player in the head. We need to tell him that Jackson played for BYU. That he reads the Book of Mormon every night. And, most importantly since Chris has weight issues, we need to tell him that Jackson has a ham sandwich stashed somewhere on his person.

Overall, we just need to pound on these guys. Vick's small. Dunn's small. Their offensive and defensive lines are small. We need to beat on them until they don't want to get up anymore. You'd think a team that rushes for 230+ yards a game would be physical, but they're not. They're a bunch of doilie-sewing sissies and we need to punish them for that. Beat on them early, win late.

All in all, though, I'm not really worried about this game. I really think we're going to beat them and beat them soundly. Not Kansas City soundly, but soundly. The only thing that worries me is that I'm not at all worried. That and the fact that Michael Vick could pull some craziness out of his ass and win the game all by himself. But not by throwing the ball.

Prediction:
Steelers 24, Falcons 10

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Steelers vs. Chiefs Review

One, two, three...

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

I needed that win. Weidman needed that win. Cowher needed it. The coaching staff needed it. The players needed it. Most importantly, Steeler Nation needed it.

Too bad we have to play the rest of the games on the schedule. That would've made a nice end to the season.

This game reminded me an awful lot of the shitkicking we handed the Browns on Christmas Eve Day last season. And we all remember how that turned out, right?

I'm not saying that the Steelers are a lock to repeat, but I will say that if they're able to score 45 points a game and run the ball like they did on Sunday the rest of the season, the odds are very, very good.

We stopped LJ on defense and Dick LeBeau again proved why he's one of the best in the business. If a moron like me knew that the Chiefs couldn't depend on Kyle Turley's back-up to protect Damon Huard's blindspot, then you had to figure the Chiefs themselves knew it. That's why, for the most part, LeBeau blitzed 4 or 5 and dropped 6 or 7 into coverage, knowing that Kansas City was going to max protect and that if everyone was double covered since KC only put 3 people out into the pattern, Huard would eventually make a mistake. And he did. And we did a damn good job of getting off the field on third down against a damn good offense.

Speaking of offense, I won't go as far as saying that now everything's perfect and we're going to do this every week. However, if the offensive line is able to open GIGANTIC HOLES for Parker, Davenport, and possibly even Staley like that the rest of the season, we're going to be in very, very good shape.

The Steelers offense has always keyed off the run. Either they pass the ball early to set it up (see last year's playoff run), or they run the ball early to set up the pass. As we've seen time and time again, they are MUCH more effective when they're able to run well early and use that to create big plays off of playaction. Granted, there were some severe lapses in concentration in the KC secondary, but Ben was 16-19 and got his first two TD passes of the season. And that feels very, very good I'm sure.

Nothing negative to say, but as Winston Wolfe would say in this situation, let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Steelers vs. Chiefs Preview

I'd like to say that this is just another game. That we've only played four games and that starting out 1-4 won't be the end of the world. Okay, so it's not like Marvin the Martian's going to destroy the planet just because the Steelers lost four of their first five. But it'll pretty much be the end of the season. Scratch that: It will be the end of the season.

I have no stats to back this up. No precedence. Nothing. All I'm saying is that the hated Ravens are 4-1 (possibly 5-1 after this week) and so are the Bungles. This means that we'll be tied for last place with the freakin' Browns (unless, ya know, they win this weekend), and we'll be, at best, three games out of first place with 11 to play. And those are really, really bad odds.

When the Steelers Have the Ball:

The Chiefs have gotten a lot better on defense the past couple of years, but they're still the Chiefs. Put it this way: I can name three guys on their front seven off the top of my head. Two of those were 1st round draft picks from the last two years (Talimba Hali and Derrick Johnson) and one used to play for the Steelers (Kendrell Bell).

I think we can run on these guys. And we don't need to do anything cute, either. Just line up and come at them. If we have early success running the ball, we're golden. If, for whatever reason, Fast Willie starts out with 8 carries for 7 yards, we're doomed. Whisenhunt and Cowher will burn the game plan in effigy and they'll have Mongo, the Half-Witted Donkey call the plays for the rest of the game. Big Ben will wilt, the protection will start to fade, and everyone will once again become cognizant of the fact that we have a gimpy Hines Ward and a bunch of #4 receivers in our corps.

Since we should be able to run on the Chiefs, I'm not going to say that's the key to the game. That's something that's assumed it will happen (and Davenport looked pretty good against the Chargers). Biggest thing we need to do? Get Ben going early. Give him some easy passes and some completions early on. Screen passes, crossing patterns, roll-outs where he throws to Heath. Later in the game, we can take some shots.

But, considering that in the last 4 months he almost died, had an appendectomy, and, most importantly, has been sucking huge balls, maybe it's time to party like it's 2004 and just have him manage the game.

Remember the stretch of games in 2004 when Ben attempted 15-17 passes, we ran the hell out of the ball, and we drove Vegas crazy because we were narrowly beating crappy teams? Well, we still have mostly the same personnel and, even though they beat the 49ers 41-0, the Chiefs are still a crappy team. Ben needs to go back to the game manager role, if only until he gets his freakin' sea legs back.

If he doesn't, we gotta think about Batch. I know I sound like every yinzer in the tri-state after three beers. But, here are the facts as I see them. Every time Ben has struggled and thrown way too many interceptions and looked like he had absolutely no idea what to do in the pocket, he's been worn out.

End of the 2004 season, 2004 playoffs, Super Bowl. He's was used to playing 12 games a year and now he's suddenly thrust into a situation where he has to play 24 (4 pre, 16 regular, 4 post). In the Super Bowl, he was tired. Towards the end of the 2004 season and especially the 2004 playoffs, the man was freakin' worn out. This offseason, he didn't get a chance to rest. He nearly died, lost 20 pounds, the pre-season immediately started, and then he had surgery. He came back too soon.

I refuse to believe that he suddenly forgot how to play the game of football after doing so well when he was rested and ready to play. And, the "teams have figured him out" angle is a bunch of shit. It just is. Why then, have teams not "figured out" how to stop Mark Brunell on a consistent basis? Why couldn't they stop John Elway? Or Randall Cunningham? These guys played for 135 seasons combined. There was film. There was precendence. Some days they have it, some days they don't. And Ben's tired. Give him some rest. He's got a $40 million contract. We're not going to bench him all year. But if Batch is ready, that's why you have a back-up quarterback.

When the Chiefs Have the Ball:

Speaking of back-up quarterbacks, Damon Huard has been playing really well in relief of Trent Green. Well, he's been playing really well against crappy defenses and in garbage time.

We need to put eleven guys in the box, stop Larry Johnson, and make Huard beat us. The Chiefs have pass protection issues, which is why it sucks that Joey Porter is going to miss this game. Their regular left tackle, Willie Roaf, retired before the season and left the Chiefs in a bad spot. They replaced Roaf with Kyle Turley.

Interesting story about Kyle Turley. Three years ago, he got cut by the New Orleans Saints. He was a pretty good right tackle at the time, so the Rams signed him. He tried to play for the Rams, but ended up retiring because he had no ligaments left in his back. After taking some time off, he lost 60 pounds and tried to catch on somewhere as a tight end. At some point, he put the weight back on and the Chiefs signed him, making him their starting left tackle. To review: Two years ago, he was retired with an inoperable spine. One year ago, he was 60 pounds lighter and trying out for NFL teams as a tight end. Suddenly, he's good enough to start at left tackle, the single most important position on the offensive line?

Well, he's out with an injury. That means that Kansas City's starting left tackle for this game is a guy that couldn't beat out a retired right tackle with a bad back. Yeah. Porter would've had fun with that. AND, the Chiefs had to move their starting right tackle to left tackle, so their current starting right tackle is the back-up. We need to bring lots and lots of pressure from the edges.

The biggest thing we have to worry about, since KC's receivers blow, is Larry Johnson as a pass receiver. Thus far this season, LJ has about 600 carries and about 430 pass receptions. He's their whole offense. We need to put James Farrior, the team's best tackler, on LJ all game. We need to put an LJ mix in his iPod. Need to put pictures of LJ all over his locker, his stall in the shower, on both sides of the practice field. He should wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and say, "Where's LJ? He's my man! Where's he at?"

If we take out LJ as a runner and a receiver, we win the game. And this is a big key for me in Fantasty Football for me as well. I'm in two leagues this week where LJ plays a factor. In one game, I have him. In the other game, the other guy has him. In the game I have him, I'm in a better position and it won't matter too much if LJ lays an egg. In the other game, I kinda need him to have a bad game, because the other guy has a better team and he has Fast Willie, who I think is going to go off. So... for the love of God, please stop Larry Johnson.

Prediction:

I think we're going to crush them. This could be a low scoring game, with two offenses that are hobbling, two questionable quarterbacks, some sub-standard receiving corps, and two offenses where the defense's game plan is, "Stop the running back and make the quarterback beat you." And, KC has a pretty decent defense. But, they're still the Kansas City Chiefs.

This is where we find out what the 2006 Steelers are made of. They've stumbled out of the gate, but the season isn't lost yet. If we lose today (sorry this got posted late), the season's over. If we crush the Chiefs like I think we will, we've got a chance.

Steelers 38, Chiefs 20

Monday, October 09, 2006

Steelers vs. Chargers Review

Hey. At least we won the Super Bowl last year.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Steelers vs. Chargers Preview

Okay, I'm sorry. The Steelers took a bye, so I took a bye. And then I went to Boston. And thought about the fact that the Patriots were somehow able to win three championships in four years. And got depressed. But I'm back.

Overall:

Too many people use the phrase "must win" too early in the season. It annoys me. That being said, Sunday night's game is a must win for the Steelers.

They need to keep pace in the division. I happen to think that we'll beat Cincy in Cincy at the end of the year. I happen to think that the Browns will be pushovers again and we'll win both those games. I'm not sold on the Ravens. That means a 5-1 division record. Furthermore, it means that a win Sunday puts us 2 games behind the Ravens and 1 game behind Cincy. And if the Ravens lose to Denver on Monday night like I think they will, that puts us 1 1/2 games behind the hated Ravens. One win vs. Cincy in Cincy, two wins against the Ravens, a 5-1 division record, and the fact that the schedule gets a lot easier after this all adds up to us winning the division. Provided we don't have too many in conference losses. Guess which conference San Diego plays in?

Offense:

We need to be able to throw the ball because we ain't gonna find much space running it. The Chargers DBs are pretty damn bad, their linebackers suck in coverage, and they don't create us much pressure as 9 sacks against the horrid Raiders would lead us to believe. Their front seven is really, really, really, really good at stopping the run. Ask Jamal Lewis how good they are.

Since we're not going to be able to run the ball, especially early on, we need to throw deep on their nancy little DBs and hope to make some plays. Cedrick Wilson needs to catch a freakin' pass. Hines needs some touchdowns and not just because he's on my fantasy team. Santonio Holmes could actually be successful. And we've got that Heath Miller guy.

We have the talent on offense and they don't have the talent in the secondary. We need to take advantage of this and make them friggin' pay. We had a bye week to work on timing issues and for Ward's hammy to get better. If we can't throw on these guys, we're pretty well screwed for the game and the season.

That's because if we can't throw on them, we're not going to beat them. If we can't throw on them, we pretty much can't throw on anybody, so we're screwed there. If we don't beat them, we're 1-3, don't have a bye to get everyone healthy late in the year for another magical playoff push, and we're several games back in the division. Last in the division, in fact. Tied with Cleveland. Anyone want to be tied with Cleveland for last in the division? At any point in any season? Me either. Hopefully, the Steelers don't want to be in that situation either.

Defense:

We need to stop three things on defense: LaDanian Tomlinson, LaDanian Tomlinson, and LaDanian Tomlinson. If he breaks some big runs, it's over.

The only issue is that we can't be so concerned with the man some heartless bastards with poor memories call L.T. that we forget about the rest of the offense. The Ravens were really concerned with Tomlinson early in the game on Sunday and ended up getting burned worse than a near-sighted crackhead. Then Marty started playing Marty Ball, listened to Tomlinson when he told him to take him out of the game in the last eight minutes, and relied on a shitty pass defense to protect a four point lead. Other than that, great job by Mr. Schottenheimer.

We can't expect to get that lucky again this year. We need to line up and make Philip Rivers beat us. But, we can't give him a stick to hit us with by paying too much attention to Tomlinson. Roethlisberger's already out to prove that San Diego made a big mistake by passing on him. I mean, the 27-6 record and the Super Bowl ring, that's a start, but Ben likes to beat the teams that passed on him. So we should enable him to do that. The only issue is that it's not Rivers vs. Roethlisberger. It's the Steelers vs. the Chargers. And Marty vs. Cowher. Two very similar teams that don't really use the quarterbacks they plunked high draft picks on.

What I Think:

Big Ben and Rivers aren't going to decide this game. One thing is going to decide it: How close it is in the fourth quarter. If it's close, our guys and our coach will be the difference and we'll win. If we get blown off the ball early, Cowher learned how to protect a lead from Schottenheimer, so we're screwed.

Best way to avoid falling in a hole early: DON'T DO THE SAME STUPID SHIT WE'VE DONE THE LAST TWO GAMES. That would be, primarily, giving up on a successful game plan because one bad thing happened.

If someone drops a pass or Ben throws a pick early, don't move away from the playaction, rolling the pocket, throwing to the tight end and hitting receivers deep game plan that worked early in the games the last two. Stick with it for Christ's sake. You spend all that time putting it together, why flush it down the toilet when things get a little bumpy?

And... Najeh Davenport or Duce Staley need to carry the ball. I don't care if they're on the sidelines, walking with the ball from one side of the field to the other. If they get in the freakin' game, that changes everything. Fast Willie gets more touches on screen passes and other pass plays out of the backfield. Cowher doesn't pass too much with a lead because he's afraid of wearing Parker out. And we can start to wear down the defense with some big fat guy that deals out punishment instead of taking it.

Cowher needs a fat man carrying the ball. The Steelers need a fat man carrying the ball. Please, for the love of God, give a fat man the ball. Otherwise, I start getting visions of 2003. And we all know how that turned out.