Getting Closer to Football Season...

Well, so, now that the Penguins have won the Stanley Cup, we've had a parade, and everyone has (hopefully) recovered from their hangovers... I have great news! Training Camp opens in six weeks. This means that we only need to depend on the Pirates for sports sustenance between now and then.

Or, you know, you could paint the garage. It really needs it.

Here's some new stuff and some stuff I forgot to mention while the Penguins were making their run to the Stanley Cup. I mentioned that, right? That the Penguins won the Stanley Cup? Four months after the Steelers won the Super Bowl? Just want to make sure that I covered the fact that the Steelers won Super Bowl XLIII in February, then the Pens won the Stanley Cup a little over a week ago. We're good on that? Okay, then.

1. Predictably, the Pirates are starting their midseason swoon, just in time for the All Star Break. I always thought it was because they kind of ran out of gas after putting in such a great effort in May and June, still sucking, then realizing that half the team would get traded away. But it's because they really play terrible against the American League. Doesn't matter if the AL teams are good or not, the Pirates just kind of decide to suck against the AL. I guess everyone needs a weakness. It just so happens that, for the Buccos, it's the AL. And on-base percentage. And lack of a bullpen. And lack of power through the heart of the order.
2. Everyone took the McClouth trade as a sign that the Pirates were giving up early and that they weren't even going to fake their way through trying to pretend to compete. From what I heard, they weren't actively shopping anyone, but they knew they would have to trade one of their four outfielders at some point. Atlanta called them, gave them a good offer, and McClouth was traded. The players complained a little too much, which made it worse, but you'll have that in the kind of culture of losing that the Pirates have been sporting for about the past decade or so (before that, we were in the middle of a five year rebuilding plan... one that we thought might actually work). You have to look on the bright side. And that bright side is Andrew McCutcheon.
   
3. Look, I'm not saying they're going to rebound and win the World Series or anything (although that'd be pretty sweet). I'm not even saying that you should give them the benefit of the doubt. I wish I could stop following them. I wish I could stop caring about them. I wish I could stop watching the games, buying a hat or a jersey every couple of years, and going to at least five or ten games a year. I wish I could, but I can't. Baseball was my first love and I can't give it up. But, hey, anyone else who wants to stop following them, stop paying for merchandise and tickets, and openly dispise them, please feel free. I welcome it. It's a weird relationship that baseball and I have. It's complicated.
4. One more thing real quick and I'll start talking about relevant sports. I think that baseball needs to improve its image. I think everyone's sick of the steroids scandal. I think that the game is changing, making defense, speed, pitching, and the ability to get on base more important. I think that the game is shrinking. I think that Moneyball isn't as relevant as it was in the Steroids Era. It's still important, don't get me wrong, it's just not as important. Runs are now harder to come by, so it's starting to become more worth it to sacrifice, to steal bases, to be a little more aggressive on the base paths. We're not going to get back to the way the game was played in the early and late 80's (and, really, we wouldn't want to), but we're going to get closer to the way it was played in the early to mid 90's. The point is this: If the Dodgers, Yankees, Red Sox, or any other big market team that can afford a bunch of roided-out sluggers making their last run before they deflate, it's a crappy storyline for Major League Baseball. If a young, fast, cheap team that wins with defense wins it all, it's a better story. The Phillies winning last year kind of bridged the gap, since they can win big or small, but the Pirates winning the World Series would be a great story. It's not as though the powers that be are in the business of fixing games, but it would be a great story.
5. Signing Goligoski was an excellent move. I'd love to also be able to keep Scuderi, Letang, Gill, and Gonchar, but we're probably only going to be able to keep two of those guys. And Bylsma's system works better with more offensive defensemen who attack the puck, pass well, and occasionally retreat. Gill and Scuderi don't fit that, so there you go. Imagine having Gonchar, Goligoski, and Letang, though. That sounds pretty damn good to me. After all, we thought we'd be a way worse team without Hossa and Malone (and Whitney) this year, but we ended up doing okay.
6. The Penguins are not going to sign Hossa. There's a better chance that the Steelers sign Plaxico Burress. Or trade for Brandon Marshall.
7. The Steelers are not going to sign Plaxico Burress.
8. The Steelers are not going to trade for Brandon Marshall.
9. Two of my Fantasy Football leagues have been renewed for the coming season. I'm already starting to handicap my top 20 lists. I'm starting to look for sleepers. I'm starting to look for breakout candidates. It is awesome. Never to early to get started.
10. Speaking of big contracts, the Steelers finally locked down Max Starks long term! He signed a four year deal! Are you super stoked about it?!?!?! Actually, I'm excited. Really, I am. I think Starks is a stiff, but I much prefer him as the starting left tackle by default that's underpaid for his position than as the back-up right tackle that's making over $7 million a year. In all honesty, given the circumstances, I would have to say that I am super stoked that they signed him to a four year deal. First of all the deal averages less per season than he would've gotten this season ($6.5 million per versus $8.5 million per). Second of all, the total guaranteed money over the life of the contract is only slightly greater than what he would've made just this season under the Franchise tag ($10 million versus $8.5 million). When you add in the fact that the Steelers basically applied the tag with a gun to their head the past two seasons... and the fact that Starks was under no obligation to sign a longterm deal... and that, in fact, it was detrimental to his wallet to sign a longterm deal... well, I have to say I'm surprised that the Steelers were able to pull it off. After all, he could've played this year at $8.5 million, then possibly got Franchised next year (with a 15% raise or the average of the five highest paid tackles in the league, whichever was higher), then see if he could work out a deal that would leave him unfranchised the following year, which would be uncapped. Of course, if there's an uncapped 2010, there will be a lockout in 2011, so maybe that played into his decision as well.
    
11. All in all, I'm still not a fan of Max Starks, but I'm going to say what I said every time someone said that we should fire Bill Cowher: Who would we get to replace him that would be better? At this point, the market is kind of tapped out. For four years and $26 million, he's actually a bargain with the salary cap being what it is. If Nate Washington can get $27 million and a back-up tackle for the Panthers can go to the Bears for $13 million, then Starks is worth $26 million. And that's okay.

That's all I can think of for now.

Stanley Cup Champions

Wow. Just... just wow. What a team. What a run. What an accomplishment.

I think the Stanley Cup is the hardest championship to win in all of sports. I know I'm not alone in that, I'm just saying. The Penguins started the regular season on October 4th of last year and didn't finish the season until June 14th of this year. That's eight months. And that's after their 2007-08 season stretched from the middle of October to the beginning of June.

Basically, when the 2009-10 season starts, they'll have played 16 out of the past 24 months. And there are offseason training camps and mini-camps in there, just like football. Hell, the NHL Draft is today. They really have to cram a lot of stuff into a pretty short period of time, which makes it so that there's not much of a layoff. I'm all in favor of that.

I'd be all in favor of the Pens winning the Cup every year. If nothing else, that means I only need to fill about six weeks every year until training camp starts (yes, you heard that right, training camp starts in six weeks). I'm not abandoning the Pirates, I'm just saying that they can't be counted on to be competitive, so to only have to suffer through a month and a half of non-competitive games every year is a great feeling.

But, ultimately, I think that a body can only take the strain and the wear and tear of so many hockey games piled right on top of each other until it breaks down. The physical and mental attrition involved is far greater than football, greater than baseball (although it's mostly physical attrition where hockey holds the edge), and slightly greater than basketball.

Purely from a physical and mental standpoint, the Cup is the hardest trophy to win on a consistent basis. Playing eight months out of the year, over a hundred games every season, year after year, it takes its toll on you physically, mentally, and emotionally. As I said before, I was spent heading into Game 7. I don't know how the players did it.

At any rate, enjoy it. We should be back again, with the core group of Malkin, Crosby, Fleury, and Staal. I think it's possible (and kinda scary) that none of those guys has fully reached their potential. I've heard that a player (in any sport) peaks between the ages of 26-30. The good news is that all these guys could potentially get better than they are now. The bad news is that they might hit their peak when they're on another team.

I also think that Staal has a very bright future. He has too many physical attributes and things going for him to fail unless he makes it happen. And I don't think that Malkin and Crosby will let him fail. Hey, he's not even 20 yet. He's 6'4". Some people take a while to get used to their body. My brother grew eight inches between his 15th and 16th birthdays. I think he was 30 before he fully got accustomed to his body. We saw flashes of what he can do. He's got so much speed, so much talent, and he's so big, that it's easy to imagine him eventually being better than the two stars on the Pens. He has certain attributes that you can't teach that Malkin and Crosby don't have. For that reason, his ceiling is much higher. In football terms, he's kind of like a receiver with the speed of Bob Hayes and the height of Harold Carmichael. That's quite a weapon.

But, as I said, enjoy this moment. This experience was unique. This team was unique. They may win it all again next year or the year after that, but it will be a different group of guys and there will be a different feel to every series and it will feel different when they hoist the Cup.

Remember how different the Super Bowl XLIII win felt than the Super Bowl XL win? (The Steelers won both of those Super Bowls, btw).

It's kind of depressing, but kind of poetic and beautiful to think that this win, that moment in time, is unique in all aspects. Byslma is now a different coach than he was 48 hours ago. Sid and Geno are different players. After the parade, we'll move onto the coming season, where Hossa will sign, whether or not we'll be able to retain Guerrin (we're trying to), and how the Pens will build on their success.

So, just to review the season that was:

1. In February, we were in 10th place and in danger of being eliminated from playoff contention.
2. Bylsma took over and we won 18 of our next 25. Ended up as the fourth seed.
3. We overcame a ferocious Flyers team, a 2-0 hole against an explosive Capitals team, and smoked an overmatched Hurricanes team.
4. We overcame the Joe Louis Arena, a 2-0 hole again, and won Game 7 of a series (again) on the road.

From 10th place to hoisting the Cup in four months. Not too shabby at all.

Almost as impressive as the fact that the parade on Monday could've been held in Hamilton, Ontario or Kansas City if things had played out differently. That's the biggest Cinderella story of them all.

Game 7

On Sunday, I was headed out to my car and my neighbor stopped me. We made some small talk and I was hoping he wouldn't bring up the game. I wasn't ready to talk about it yet (even though I had blogged about it right after the fact, which, in retrospect, was a mistake). But, wouldn't you know, he said: "How about that game, huh?" To which I replied, "I'm trying not to think about it."

And then he said, "Do you know what that reminded me of? 1960." I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. It was so simple. So brilliant. So obvious. Why didn't I think of that? The single greatest underdog moment in Pittsburgh sports history and I completely didn't think about it. My crazy 75 year old neighbor that didn't even watch the game thought of it.

(To fill everyone in that may be lost: The significance of 1960 is that Pittsburgh used to have a professional baseball team. They were called the Pirates. In the 1960 World Series, the Pirates played the Mighty Yankees, who had won, like 35 World Series in the last 15 years. The Buccos -- the nickname for the Pittsburgh Pirates -- were outscored 55-27 for the series, yet somehow managed to win in seven games. They won the seventh and deciding game in Pittsburgh after the Yankees won Game 6 by a score of 12-0. Crazy, right?)

Brilliant. Flawless. A true underdog story. I told all my friends on Monday. They all thought it was awesome. They were all excited for Game 6.

Well, we're now in Game 7. Just like 1960. Brilliant. Flawless.

Unfortunately, it doesn't make any damn sense.

We'll set aside the little details, like the fact that the Yankees smoked us in Game 6 to push a game seven and stave off elimination. We'll set aside the fact that, other than Game 5, all the games have been close. The biggest margin of victory for the Buccos in the '60 World Series in any game was three runs, which is much less dominant a victory than winning by, say, two goals, which the Pens have done twice this series.

Let's focus on the big stuff. Two different sports. Two completely different sports separated by almost 50 years. I mean, you can't even really compare two different baseball teams that are separated by 50 years. The game has changed so much. The media has changed so much. The scope has expanded. The players have expanded.

So, if comparing the 2009 Pirates with the 1960 Pirates is like comparing an iPod to a phonograph, comparing the 2009 Penguins with the 1960 Pirates is like comparing an iPod to a solar powered push mower. It just doesn't make any damn sense.

If you really, really want to get down to the nitty-gritty, the Penguins are more like the '60 Yankees with their star power and explosive offense and big name pitching/goaltending and the '60 Pirates are more like the '09 Red Wings with their lack of all-stars (Maz was known for his defense and Clemente wasn't a big name yet), sound fundamentals, and clutch performers.

Now, I'm not trying to make an ass out of my neighbor. He vaguely knows that the Internet exists and, like the vast majority of people, could care less what I write in this blog. What I'm trying to say is that he made a completely non-sensical statement and, not only did I not correct him, I told other people about it and they agreed with how great it was. It wasn't until after Game 6 that I fully realized how ridiculous the 1960 Comment was.

So, in the words of Obi Wan Kenobi: "Who's more foolish? The fool, or the fool who follows him?" The answer to that question, of course, is "Yes."

Listen, we're all idiots, all of us sports fans. We spend way too much time and energy throwing way too much of our spirit, Concern Rays, and emotion at a group of athletes that, point blank, could really care less if we live or die. They understand the need for us in terms of season ticket sales and to make noise when the other team is trying to do something, but if you think that Sidney Crosby loses sleep over the way you don't put quite enough pressure on the top end of the stapler when you use it, you're even crazier than the rest of us.

And I'm the worst one. Not only do I know all this is happening, but I continue to watch everything and even write about it in spite of the fact that no one is paying me to do so.

On the other side of it, I know that, ultimately, nothing I do matters and that the players on the ice/field decide the game, but I do it anyway. The Penguins are 3-0 when I go to Garvey's, 0-3 when I do not.

On Tuesday, I blew out my knee playing softball, but didn't go to the emergency room until the next morning because I needed to be at Garvey's for the game so that they'd win. I'm courageous, I'm friggin' stupid. I haven't shaved my neck since Saturday. I haven't trimmed my beard since April. I have to sit in the same seat I've sat in for other victories when I go to Garvey's and I can't stand up while the puck is in play. Well, now I have crutches, but I can't watch the game at home. I need to go to Garvey's. That's how it works.

After Saturday's game, you could have nailed me in the testes with a steel toed boot and I wouldn't have noticed. I was in shock. I was two steps away from death. It was the worst I've felt about a sporting event since the 2004 AFC Championship game. That was the last time I collapsed when I got home and the last time I wept uncontrollably.

Speaking of the 2004 AFC Championship game, I have been dreading Game 7 since Saturday. Somehow, I knew that we were going to win Game 6 (or refused to recognize the possibility that we'd lose).

Like any person, my expectations are based on past experience. My past experience tells me that, since the Penguins have never beaten the Red Wings in the Stanley Cup final, they can't do it tomorrow. My past experience says that the home team has won every game this series and the game is in Detroit. Past experience says that the last time the Penguins were in Detroit, they lost 5-0.

My brain is trying to prepare my heart. It is trying to warn my heart. It is trying to do damage control on the liver so that, God forbid we lose on Friday, the liver doesn't pump up alcohol conversion and end up killing a lot of brain cells. Just like the 2004 AFC Championship game, my brain knows that we cannot win, but my heart refuses to believe that we can lose.

But, really, Game 7 is why we're all sports fans, right? The finality of it, the building and waning momentum, bad blood, sweat, tears, and the wear and tear of a long hockey playoffs that, come hell or high water, is going to finally end tomorrow night. I'm exhausted and I haven't been playing in the games. I can't imagine what the players are going through.

Mathematically, Game 7 isn't any more important than Game 1. In a seven game series, one individual game is worth 1/7 of the outcome. First team to 4/7s wins, right? Again, though, that's not why we follow sports.

If we wanted to do something that made sense, we'd learn German or fix things around the house.

If we wanted to do something logical that sharpened our brains, we'd do crossword puzzles or figure out algorithms in our spare time.

Here's the thing: I've never collapsed because of a really bad conjugation. I've never broken down in tears because my basement's not finished. I've never high-fived and hugged a bar full of strangers because I figured out that "gnu" is a three letter word for a flightless bird. I've never trash talked someone just because they're a "Fibonacci Guy".

So, if you're going to base a prediction on something, base it on something that doesn't make any damn sense.

The Penguins are going to win because I haven't shaved my neck since Saturday.

The Penguins are going to win because of Sidney Crosby's face. Did you see him after Game 5? He looked like he wanted to play another three periods right then. Just him against the entire Red Wings team for 60 minutes. There's no way he lets his team feel that bad again.

The Penguins are going to win because it's Game 7 and they just have to. They beat the Capitals in Game 7 after being down two games, right? That's gotta mean something.

The Penguins are going to win because I haven't trimmed my beard since April.

The Penguins are going to win because Nik Lidstrom is finally going to break down. Rafalski was starting to slip by Game 4 and Lidstrom is going to join him. I can see it in his eyes. They look tired.

The Penguins are going to win because I think Geno won't let them lose, either.

The Penguins are going to win because I think Jordan Staal steps up.

The Penguins are going to win because... what about Pascal Dupuis? Petr Sykora? Someone's gonna step up. Detroit had a bunch of no-names that kicked ass when Datysuk was out, so we've gotta have our guys in there, right? We have a sleeper, don't we?

The Penguins are going to win because I'm sitting in the right seat in the right bar.

The Penguins are going to win because last year wasn't their year. They weren't ready yet. They're ready this year. This year is their year.

The Penguins are going to win because we want it more than they do.

The Penguins are going to win because I want very desperately to watch the game with my buddy Laszlo, the hockey guru that re-introduced me to the game. But, the Pens are 3-0 when he watches the game at Gene's and they're 3-0 when I watch the game at Garvey's, so we're just going to text each other.

The Penguins are going to win because our Concern Rays will overwhelm theirs.

The Penguins are going to win because I'm wearing the same Gonchar jersey I've worn for every game this series. I was also wearing the Gonchar jersey when I blew out my knee. Fitting.

The Penguins are going to win because... because I said so.

And, damnit, the Penguins are going to win because this is a special group. Everyone has a little Bill Mazeroski in them. Tonight, they prove it.

LET'S GO PENS!

LET'S GO PENS!

LET'S GO PENS!

LET'S GO PENS!

Game 5

I have to say that I thought the Penguins were going to win tonight. Obviously, I thought this before the second period started.

They sucked.

The game sucked.

Nothing went right.

We had all the giveaways, they had all the takeaways.

Fleury got pulled -- by the way, I always think it's a mistake to change goalies. I don't care if Fleury's replacement was much more successful. It was 5-0 at that point. Anyone would have been successful, because Detroit wasn't interested in scoring, they were only interested in getting out of there without any injuries.

The good news is that they can't carry over goals from this game to the next one.

The good news is that we're at home.

The good news is that the Red Wings pretty much murdered the idea of momentum that I thought was so important heading into this game. Lets' throw some dirt on that idea. And dance on its grave. And spray paint "Red Wings SUCK" on the head stone. Let's do that for Game 6.

Coming into this game, I was angry about the three day layoff between games. Now, I'm happy. Let's take this time to fix what went wrong. Let's take this time to re-group. Let's take this time to let whatever momentum the Red Wings built in Game 5 dissolve.

Let's calm down, forget about what happened tonight, and move on.

Shall we?

Please?

There's no amount of beer that will wipe this game from my memory banks. However, I'll try. And I'll wake up tomorrow. And Monday. And Tuesday.

And, come Tuesday night... LET'S GO PENS!

That's all we've got at this point. God help us, we're hoping for a Game 7 in Detroit.

Cup Review

Basically, the Penguins needed to sweep their two games at home to stand a chance.

And they did.

We have the momentum (hockey playoffs are all about momentum) and we're heading back to Detroit, where we outshot the Red Wings in the first two games of the season.

A few observations:

1. Fleury has been amazing thus far. He needs to keep that up now that the show goes on the road.
2. The Pens played better in Game 2 than they played in Game 3. I will take the win. The important thing is that they built on their Game 3 success in Game 4.
3. Game 4 was a huge step forward. As Laszlo said, the Pens start to open up holes and outskate their opponents when they realize they can hang with them. They realized that tonight.
4. That having been said, the Kennedy goal -- and the open passing lanes that followed -- would not have happened had the Pens not scored those two quick goals and had the Detroit defensemen guessing.
5. Detroit is still a very, very good hockey team. If you think that they're ratttled (even though they looked very rattled in the third period), you're wrong. They'll come back strong in Game 5 and the Pens need to be ready.
6. Osgood is also outstanding. We haven't broken him. We haven't gotten in his head. We need to continue to attack him the same way we did tonight.
7. The penalty calls will continue to be uneven and inconsistent. It's the Stanley Cup Final. We just need to learn to live with it and move on. The Red Wings have, despite what they've said to the media.
8. Game 5 is going to be a fight. They're going to bring it, we're going to bring it. I can't wait.
9. This Detroit team still scares the hell out of me, but I think the Pens have proven they can hang with -- and, at some points dominate -- this very talented squad. Hopefully, we can continue to take the puck to them, even if we don't have control over the last shift.
10. If we win Game 5, we take control of the series and put the pressure on them. I'm not saying they'll fold, I'm just saying that they're not used to being on the wrong side of a series. The more uncomfortable they are, the more we benefit. They're not as stone-cold professional as Pierre McGuire would have you believe. Just watching Mike Babcock's body language during Game 4 tells us that.
11. These teams are too evenly matched. Special teams could be the difference. Our penalty kill has been lights out and our power play has been extremely effective, whereas Detroit has struggled in both areas. Pens fans should pray for tons of whistles the rest of the series.
    

On Malkin and White-outs

First of all, Evgeni Malkin should not be playing tonight. I already talked about how there should be a rule in place to keep the last minute of a lopsided game from turning into a street brawl. As it turns out, there's something like that in place. It's called a Game Misconduct. If you get one in a game, you're supposed to be suspended for the next game. Malkin didn't get suspended. No one got suspended as a result of the ten man cage match that Game 1 of the Flyers-Pens series turned into. Scott Walker didn't get suspended for cold-cocking Milan Lucic in the Canes-Bruins series.

So, you could say that the rule has no teeth because they don't enforce it during the most important games of the year. But that actually doesn't get to the heart of the matter. Even if they did enforce the rule, it doesn't go far enough. Say Ville Leino (I know you've never heard of him, that's the point) sucker punches Crosby in the kidneys several times at the end of a blowout loss. Leino gets a Game Misconduct, a two minute minor, a 10-minute major, and is suspended for the next game. But, maybe Crosby cracks a rib. If he doesn't miss several games, he's at least hampered for the rest of the series. And the Red Wings lose some dude I picked off their fourth line from their roster page on ESPN.com. For one game.

A 10-minute major doesn't mean a whole lot when there's 35 seconds left on the clock. It would mean an awful lot, though, if the penalty minutes carried over. Imagine if Malkin was out of the line-up and Detroit started with a nine-and-a-half minute power play tonight. On second thought, don't imagine that. In fact, forget I brought it up.

My point is that the NHL needs to enforce the rule as it stands and change it so that it actually hurts teams who hurt players.

I am SO over the white-out. Two reasons:

1. They have one every friggin' home game, so it's not special and it's not an advantage.
2. The fans are wearing white, the Pens are wearing black. To top it all off... the visiting team is wearing white. That just never made any sense to me.

I understand that there's no way that Console Energy would sponsor a blackout. I get it. Also, I've heard that everyone wearing black (straight black, not home jerseys) makes it harder for the goalie to see the puck. The all white jerseys make it easier for the goalie to see the puck.

Therefore, I propose a Black and White Out. Give everyone a black t-shirt and a white t-shirt when they walk in the door. Everyone on one side (the side facing the opposing goalie) wears the black shirt. Everyone on the other side (the one facing Fleury) wears the white shirt. Each intermission, everyone changes their shirt.

I'm sure this isn't legal, but I think that we could get this going for Game 4. I'm sure we could find a sponsor for one game. Maybe two.