Steelers vs. Bears Review

Basically, everyone was hating on Jeff Reed early in the week, then they eventually let up on him. A bit.

The last time he missed two field goals in a single game was 2004. I can't remember him ever missing two field goals in a row. I can't remember him ever missing two field goals in a game. Now, he looked awfully upset and rattled in the fourth quarter, so my hope is that this meltdown is not going to destroy his psyche for the rest of his career.

Remember Mike Vanderjagt? Sure, Peyton Manning called him a drunken kicker. But, most Steeler fans remember him as the guy that hooked a 46-yard field goal in the 2005 playoffs so bad he almost hit the goal posts on the opposite side of the field. After that kick, the Colts signed Adam Vinatieri and released Vanderjagt. Vanderjagt then went on to struggle in Dallas, he got released after a few games in 2006 and he has never played football since.

Before that shank, he was the most accurate kicker in the history of the NFL.

So... let's hope Reed doesn't go the way of the Vanderjagt. I was shocked and mortified when he missed the first kick. I was completely awestruck when he missed the second. At no point was I upset. Jeff Reed has been one of the most reliable, accurate kickers in the league since he started with the Steelers. He's automatic at Heinz Field, which is where the three points come from in the Vegas line.

Okay, yes. He had a job to do and he didn't. But, how about these guys (through two games, not just the fourth quarter of one game)...

1. In 2008, the defense forced 29 turnovers and had 51 sacks. Thus far, they have forced two turnovers and have three sacks. Need some more turnovers and sacks out of the defense.
2. Need some more big-time game-changing plays on defense in general. This is where we miss Polamalu. Every time the ball hung in the air a little too long, every time a ball was batted, every a pass fluttered, I expected Troy to come flying in out of nowhere and snag it. But, the ball always fell harmlessly to the turf. The popular opinion when Troy got hurt was that the Steelers would miss his leadership. They have plenty of leadership on defense, but they have a shortage of crazy since Troy went down. They need to bring the crazy back.
3. They've gained 665 yards and scored 27 total points. If you add in the six points they would've scored had Reed connected, that's 33 total points. That's not gonna do it.
4. They failed to convert on 3rd and 4, 3rd and 1, and 3rd and 2. On all of those plays, they passed the ball. On two of them, Roethlisberger got sacked. It's trued that we converted on 4th and goal from the one after we failed on 3rd and goal from the four, but, uh, that's still not gonna do it.
5. Fast Willie has lost his jump cut, a great deal of his vision, and his killer instinct. Remember Mendenhall's 39 yard run? Fast Willie would've gained 12 yards on that run. He would've cut inside inside of bouncing outside and wouldn't have finished the run as strong as Mendenhall did. This isn't an endorsement of Mendenhall, it's starting a trend of indictments of Fast Willie. Tomlin's a stubborn guy, so I give Parker until the bye week. If he doesn't show his old self by then, Mendenhall is the man.
6. Santonio Holmes dropped four passes on Sunday. That's a lot of lost yardage.

Good news is that we gained 105 yards on 22 carries (4.8 yard average). Even if you take out Mendenhall's long run as an outlier, that's still 76 yards on 21 carries (3.6 yard average). Not outstanding, but considerably better than we did against the Titans.

More good news: We've proven we can move the ball. We've proven we can convert on third and long. These are areas where most teams struggle. If we can stop struggling with the easy stuff and keep excelling at the hard stuff, we'll be good to go.

And, one last piece of good news: Two of the hardest quarterbacks to sack the last couple of years have been Jay Cutler and Kerry Collins. Could just be we had a bad draw in that regard. Also, the Titans don't tend to turn the ball over and the Bears seemed to be playing it safe. Against a familiar foe like the Bengals, we may surprise ourselves.

It's not time to give up on the season, it's not time to give up on the offense or the defense (special teams still long strong despite a fumble by Stefan Logan late Sunday), and it's definitely not time to give up on Jeff Reed.

If he doesn't give up on himself like Vanderjagt did, we should be good to go.

Steelers vs. Bears Preview

I thought about doing a "16 Reasons the Bears Make Me Poop My Pants," but that format didn't quite work. For this particular blog post, I'm going old school.

Steelers Offense vs. Bears Defense:

Well, so, we've already covered that the Steelers rush offense leaves a lot to be desired, right? It doesn't get any better this week.

"But," you say, "the Bears run the Cover 2. The Cover 2 sucks against the run! We should be golden!"

Except for the fact that Chicago finished fifth in the league last year in run defense. And they played Adrian Peterson. Twice. And Ryan Grant. Twice. And they had to play Tennessee.

"I was not aware of that," you say. "But, they must have sucked against the pass, right?" Well, they did. They finished 30th. Thus far this season, though, they're sixth. Then again, Carolina is first and they got destroyed, so maybe that doesn't mean so much.

Then again, as you already mentioned, the Bears run a Cover 2 defense. That prevents offenses from gaining yards through the big play. Or, in another way of saying it, it prevents teams from gaining yards in chunks. I would like to take this opportunity to point out that Bruce Arians has said, repeatedly, that he likes to gain yards in chunks.

So... something's gotta give, right? Chances are that it won't be the Chicago defense. Hate to say it, even if the Packers gained most of their passing yardage in Week 1 after Aaron Rogers broke the pocket, but I don't think that they'll give up chunks of yardage.

It's the home opener for the Bears. They looked like crap against the Packers. The coaches have been beating them up all week. They lost Brian Urlacher. They have an us-against-the-world mentality at this point. I don't foresee any breakdowns like they had against Green Bay.

All of the above means that the run game won't be working and the "yards in chunks" strategy won't pan out. This means that we'll have to change our game plan. A game plan change is apparently limited to the end of a half when the half/game is on the line.

Therefore, it will be a lot of one yard and a cloud of dust and a lot of Ben trying to "improvise" and failing for 56 minutes and then some two-minute offense sprinkled in.

Bears Offense vs. Steelers Defense:

The Steelers have an awesome run defense and the Bears have an awesome running back by the name of Matt Forte. Something has to give here and I think it's the Chicago running game.

I think that we'll focus on stopping the run and not give Forte much daylight. However, he's like LaDanian Tomlinson back in the day. We'd bottle him up as a runner, but not as a receiver. I think Forte catches a number of checkdowns from Jay Cutler and ends up with a fairly respectable stat line. I am starting him in my fantasy league that gives a point per reception, despite the fact that Sportsline told me that I am retarded for doing that.

I think he scores their touchdown. I think he ends up with 23 carries for 57 yards, but he scores and catches at least five passes and scores. That's worth it, right?

Point is, I don't think that Forte, explosive as he is -- and he was explosive 2008 before he hit the rookie wall -- is the guy that kills us.

"So," you say, ever the contrarian jerk that you are, "Cutler is going to kill us?"

Well, no.

The following are facts:

1. Jay Cutler sucked big, hairy, honkin' balls against the Packers on Sunday night.
2. He ended up throwing four interceptions. When I heard this, I was not surprised. I would not have been surprised had I heard that he threw six interceptions. And I only watched the first quarter.
3. The Packers were running a 3-4 defense for the first time.
4. The Steelers have been running the 3-4 defense since the Reagan administration and are very, very good at it.

You could take all that and conclude that the Steelers will rule Cutler and the Bears passing offense.

But, you would neglect to realize that:

1. Cutler has now seen the 3-4 defense and is accustomed to it. He sucked waaaaaaay less in the second half.
2. The Green Bay defensive coordinator is Dom Capers. If Dick LeBeau is the Godfather of the 3-4 defense, Capers is Tom Hagen.

So... they're ready for pretty much whatever we throw at them.

Now, Cutler is still going to suck balls, but they will be neither big, hairy, nor honkin'. He's not the guy that kills this game for the Bears.

Overall:

Since we won't be able to move the ball for 56 minutes and the Bears won't light up the scoreboard, then it's going to be a close game. It's going to be a game when big plays matter.

Therefore, we should not under any circumstances kick the ball to Devin Hester. Remember when the hated Ravens had Jermaine Lewis? Well, Hester is Lewis plus Ray Lewis plus Brian Mitchell plus infinity.

I know that we have Danny Vulva aka the Sepulverizer at our disposal once again. But, we should not under any circumstances kick the ball to Devin Hester. Do. Not. Kick. The. Ball. To. Devin. Hester.

I think that, after nearly three hours of physical play and back and forth that the announcers will praise as "riveting" but really only serves to put fans to sleep, the Steelers remember that they have one of the best clutch quarterbacks in the league and let him do his thing to win another low-scoring snooze-fest.

Prediction: Steelers 16, Bears 13

Steelers vs. Titans Review

So, I had a preview for this game. I really did. I had it in mind, wrote about 90% of it, then ran out of time. I might have been able to throw it up at about 7:15 last night, but I figured that it wouldn't work as a retrospective that was actually posted before the game started. Or something.

Well, basically, there have been three major questions that have arisen out of this game:

1. Why, exactly, didn't Hines Ward hit the deck and let Jeff Reed win the game in regulation?
2. We had 36 yards rushing and only one first down running the ball. Can this persist?
3. We had 363 yards passing on 43 attempts and 18 first downs passing the ball. Can this persist?

Well, 2 and 3 are basically the same question and it comes down to identity and sustainability. Number one is a little different.

Here's how I feel about it: That's Hines Ward. You knew that going in. You knew that when you drafted him. That's the way he's played the game since he made the team in 1998. He's always trying to get that extra yard. He's always trying to score. That's just how Hines rolls.

If he had scored, no one would be talking about how he had an error in judgment. They would be talking about how he did it all with a smile on his face. He'd be talking about how no one believed in him. Even if he hadn't fumbled, no one would have said anything.

Basically, it comes down to the fact that Chris Collinsworth said something about it during the broadcast, so everyone else feels the need to talk about it. If no one asked Obama what he though about Kanye, no one would be talking about the "jackass" comment. If he had said "no comment," then no one would be talking about it. But, that's how Obama rolls. And people are talking about it.

I'm fine with the risk of Hines fumbling once every 800 touches or so in order to take advantage of all the great plays he makes when he's out there running around with no regard for his safety. Because that's how Hines rolls.

The other questions, like I said, come down to identity and sustainability.

Passing a lot is not the Steelers' identity. They are a running team.

That's the root issue here. If they start throwing the ball a lot, then Tomlin will have changed their identity. He had done just fine living off the identity and personnel that he inherited, so breaking from that identity could spell doom.

Also, 2003.

Well, here's the thing...

I have been preaching since Tomlin was hired in 2007 that he wants to make this a Cover 2 defense and a passing offense. I have been preaching this because I completely read Mike Tomlin wrong. I assumed that, since he came from a Cover 2 backgroung that he was a system guy and that he wanted to move to the Cover 2 at all costs, because that's his system.

Tomlin is not a system guy. He's a personnel guy. He wants athletic, tough, physical players that hopefully can play a few different positions. That's why he drafted guys like Timmons, Hood, and Burnett. Not because they're Cover 2 guys, but because they can do a lot of different things, they're athletic, and they're violent, physical players.

On offense, he wants tough, physical guys. He's talked about wars of attrition. He's talked about football being a violent game. He's talked about dominance and physicality. He really, really, really wants to be able to gain two yards on third and one and drop the other team for a two yard loss on third and inches.

But, he's willing to change systems and change the way he does things if he doesn't have the horses.

All he knew coming into the head job for the Steelers was the Cover 2 defense. But, he didn't have the players to run that system, so he stuck with the 3-4. He had the guys to run a physical, violent style of offense, so he stuck with that.

Now, he doesn't have the guys to gain two yards on third and one. He doesn't have the guys to gain a foot on fourth and inches. And he knows it. And he knows that, Isaac Redman or no Isaac Redman, no one that's available can make the line to gain with the guys he has up front.

And, really, this isn't a new development. The past eight games (one of which was against the Browns in Week 17 when they had given up), the Steelers have tallied the following rushing totals: 70, 91, 73, 176 (Browns), 165, 52, 58, 36. All last season, the Steelers rushed for more than 100 yards only seven times and four of those times were against the Browns and Bengals (twice each). So, they may be able to have success running the ball at some point this season, given who they're playing against, but it may not be their identity.

Tomlin is not one to switch horses in midstream. Obviously, he kept up with "Student Body Left" well after Faneca left the team and well well after it stopped working. Last year, he didn't have the horses on the offensive line, but he felt as though he also didn't have a short yardage back or a healthy Willie Parker.

Now, he has a healthy Willie Parker and a short yardage back. But... he realizes that he still doesn't have the horses.

The real question, at this point, is when Tomlin will admit that he doesn't have the horses and go into full-on passing mode?

The answer, mercifully, is: Probably soon. Which brings us to the second question...

If the Steelers decide to become a passing team, is their success in the Tennessee game sustainable?

I hate to be crass, but... shit, I don't know. It's been so long (since 2003) since we decided to go pass wacky. At that point, Jerome Bettis, Chris Gardocki, Tommy Maddox, and Amos Zeroeue were still on the team. Guys on that team that are still on this team?

Aaron Smith
Casey Hampton
Ike Taylor
Troy Polamalu
Brett Keisel
James Farrior
Hines Ward

Notice anything about that list? That's right! Hines is the only offensive player from that fateful team still on the roster.

Ben Roethlisberger is a better quarterback than Tommy Maddox. Santonio Holmes is a better second receiver than Antwaan Randle-El. Mewelde Moore is a better third down/passing situation back than Verron Haynes.

That wasn't a JV squad they faced last Thursday night. Tennessee sent two players in their secondary -- Cortland Finnegan and Chris Hope -- to the Pro Bowl last year. But, I really can't say that passing the ball 43 times and being that successful that consistently is sustainable.

Here's what I do know: Mike Tomlin shepherded this team through one of the toughest schedules in league history last year and lead them to a championship. He oversaw the bankrupting of their rushing attack, the ascension of Ben Roethlisberger to the pantheon of two minute quarterbacks, a horrid offensive line that was among the league's worst, abyssmal special teams play, and complete dependence on a defense that was among the greatest that the NFL has ever seen.

Essentially, he coached the Steelers to a championship on balls and determination. He doesn't have that in him again this season. The team doesn't have it in them again. The kind of clutch play, luck, good timing, and standout performances they experienced last season are not sustainable.

Tomlin needs to try something new. The biggest test of his young career is whether or not he can adapt.

53-man Roster

Here's how I think it will shake out. And, I'm officially in love with Stefan Logan, even if he's only 5'3" or whatever.

First of all, I was e-mailing my buddy Joel this morning and we decided that the Steelers have a good problem when it comes to roster cuts: They have too many good players, so they need to make some tough decisions. At every position but offensive line, we have tons of quality depth. Hopefully, some guys clear waivers and we can sign them to the practice squad, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Quarterbacks (3): Ben Roethlisberger, Charlie Batch, Dennis Dixon.

Mike Reilly will get cut and hopefully clear waivers, because I'm not 100% sold on Dixon. But, this is how I think it will play out.

Running Backs (6): Willie Parker, Rashard Mendenhall, Mewelde Moore, Issac Redman, Carey Davis, Stefan Logan.

Davis is the fullback, Shortbus hits the road. It's very possible that they cut Davis and keep Shortbus.

Wide Receiver (5): Hines Ward, Santonio Holmes, Limas Sweed, Shaun McDonald, Mike Wallace.

Given the fact that we've already released a few receivers, we might only keep four. But, I think Tomlin will want McDonald's veteran presence, even if he hasn't looked all that great thus far. I think he'll come around once the bullets start flying for real.

Tight End (3): Heath Miller, Matt Spaeth, David Johnson.

They love Johnson's blocking. No one else has really established themselves. They're going to keep three guys. The other two people that they will keep are pretty much no brainers.

Offensive Line (9): Trai Essex, Justin Hartwig, Max Starks, Chris Kemoeatu, Willie Colon, Doug Legursky, Jason Capizzi, Kraig Urbik, Tony Hills.

Scary, right? That's what we have to work with. DFS was placed on injured reserve today. Yay!

Defensive Line (6): Brett Keisel, Aaron Smith, Casey Hampton, Chris Hoke, Ziggy Hood, Travis Kirschke.

They may swap out Nick Eason for Kirschke because he's younger, but they only play three at a time in their base defense, so they can't keep seven because they have too many good linebackers.

Linebackers (9): James Harrison, James Farrior, LaMarr Woodley, Lawrence Timmons, Keyaron Fox, Donovan Woods, Andre Frazier, Arnold Harrison, Patrick Bailey.

Bailey is a special teams ace and was the 2008 Steelers Rookie of the Year. Harrison is a great back-up that can play all four positions. Frazier can back up James Harrison and Farrior, he's great on special teams, is really good in general, and will probably make the roster because this is the first time in a long time that the Steelers don't need to place him on IR. Woods is another great back-up that can play a lot of positions and is good on special teams. Let's just hope his hamstring injury doesn't linger.

Also, the Bruce Davis Experiment is over. They cut him today.

While we're here, I noticed something against the Panthers:

1. This is a different defense without James Harrison. It's still a great defense, but it's not a pressure defense. Harrison makes the line and Woodley better. We need him. He better be ready for the regular season.
2. Given that, anyone that thinks Harrison didn't deserve Defensive Player of the Year last year can suck it.

Defensive Backs (9): William Gay, Ike Taylor, Deshea Townsend, Keiwan Ratliff, Joe Burnett, Tyrone Carter, Troy Polamalu, Ryan Clark, Ryan Mundy.

I was convinced all day that Mundy wouldn't make the roster, but we need four safeties. Also, the Steelers did me a favor and released Anthony Madison. I think that he's going to come back to haunt us covering kicks for another team. He's a great special teams guy and we maybe should've kept him.

Special Teams (3): Greg Warren, Danny Vulva aka the Sepulverizer, Jeff Reed.

Any questions on that? Seems pretty straightforward.

We may keep ten linebackers and nine defensive backs, but that's how I think it will shake out.

More Steelers Thoughts

In no particular order of importance...

1. I still like Isaac Redman a lot. I still think he makes the roster. I still think Shortbus is the odd man out, much as it breaks my heart to lose a good nickname like that.
2. I still can't bring myself to use the lame Old School-based nickname for Frank Summers. Looks like I won't need to worry about that for long.
3. Redman came off the field with an injury last night, though. They didn't need to bring out the cart or anything, so I hope he's okay.
4. Rashard Mendenhall runs hard and runs with authority. But, he often runs too high and he doesn't run violently enough to succeed being the type of back that he is now. He's not explosive enough. He has good vision, he makes yards after contact, but he doesn't attack the defender and that's what he needs to do to raise the level of his game.
5. So, basically, we need Willie Parker.
6. I have been unable to draft Parker on three fantasy teams and I feel very put out by that fact, so I think he'll have a big year.
7. Pass protection looks very, very good. Maybe we haven't played teams that come after the quarterback enough yet and that's why Ben has had such a nice pocket to throw from, but I am very much enjoying what I've seen so far.
8. Run blocking... not so much. We're not blowing holes open. We have backs that can shoot through those holes and do some damage, but we don't have anyone that can make something out of nothing. So, that needs some work.
9. Pre-snap penalties are driving me up a wall. Take how pissed I am about it, multiply that by a thousand and add the intensity of a dying star and that's how Tomlin feels about it. It'll get fixed.
10. Joe Burnett is awesome. Just remember that I said that. Repeatedly.
11. We need to give Stefan Logan a shot. Maybe he does as well in the regular season as he has in the preseason, maybe he doesn't. But, we need to take a chance. We haven't had a consistent return threat since Randel-El (I know Santonio has been great when he's been in there, but he has more important things to do) and we need one. With the craptastic punting and lackluster return game last season, we lost 10-15 yards of field position per possession change last season. We were repeatedly bailed out by our historically good defense, but we can't expect that to last forever.
12. Having said that, the first team defense looks awesome. Harrison is unblockable, Timmons is my most-regretted criticized first round pick since Roethlisberger, and Farrior appears to be immortal. Woodley has not shown much, but I expect that to change once offenses start scheming around how to stop Harrison. Troy is possibly our best player on defense and the rest of the secondary is solid. With the impending greatness of Burnett, I'm starting to feel better about our depth.
13. Mendenhall reminds me of Barry Foster, but faster. There's nothing wrong with that, necessarily, but I expect more out of a first round pick.
14. Add in the fact that Drop Foot and Bruce Davis are scrubs and you can pretty much write off the 2008 draft class as a bust, even if Limas Sweed somehow puts it together.
15. But, the 2009 class looks great and the 2007 class features Timmons, Vulva aka the Sepulverizer, and William Gay, so hopefully we'll be okay.
16. I hate to jinx it, but I think the Curse of 2006 is behind us. I expect big things in 2009, starting with a sound ba-thwumping of Tennessee.
    

Yet Another Fleury of Updates

I'm going to get better about this now that it's football season. I promise. Well, I promise I'll try. Or your money back.

It was brought to my attention that it had been two weeks since my last post. In those two weeks:

1. The Steelers played a game and won.
2. Michael Vick got signed by a team. That team was not the Steelers.
3. Brett Favre unretired again. Jesus.
4. The Buccos swept the Brewers.

I'd have to say that #4 is the most amazing development of the list. Also, I hate Lastings Miledge and have a huge man-crush on Andrew McCutcheon. And my buddy Keith told me not to trust Garrett Jones, so I won't. But he kinda-sorta endorses the man-crush, so I'm going to roll with it.

That does it for the Pirates. On to important stuff...

Steelers:

1. Pass protection was surprisingly awesome. No sacks. Good times.
2. Run blocking not so awesome.
3. Is it too early for me to embrace Trai Essex and leave the DFS Era behind me? I say no. Coaches agree (kinda). That's pretty much the battle to watch on the offensive line.
4. Holy crap was that guy with the Eastern European name hard to watch playing center. I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait for Justin Hartwig to return.
5. We need Fast Willie back. Mendenhall was not terrible, but neither was GI Joe.
6. How about Issac Redman? He runs too high, I have no idea where Bowie State is (I think somewhere in Maryland, judging by the name), and I can't see him taking carries away from Moore, Parker, or Mendenhall between the 10s, but damn did he look good. My favorite player, Max Starks, was asked what the odds are of a non-name kid from Bowie State making the roster as an undrafted free agent. He said, "About the same as a non-name kid from North Carolina making the roster." That quote is worth $4 million to me. I'm glad they signed him for four years and $22 million. I think they got a bargain. If he talks about running a train on Hines Ward's wife or the possibility of sentient breasts, I'm going to knock five million per off that total. At some point, I hope he ends up owing the Rooneys money.
7. So, the Steelers keep five backs: Moore, Parker, Mendenhall, Davis (fullback), and Redman. I'm okay with that. He has consistently won the goal line drill against the first team defense. I don't think I need to remind you that the first team defense has been the number one defense in the NFL two years running, so they don't suck so much.
8. The Roethlisberger suit looks like it's going to go away. So that's nice.
9. Limas Sweed actually looked halfway decent, making not one, but two nice catches. I'm not ready to call him the next Randle-El (after all, he doesn't return kicks or throw touchdown passes to Super Bowl MVPs), but he was impressive enough for Laszlo to send me the following sarcastic text: "Who is this #14? I don't recognize him." If he continues to not be recognized as the guy that choked his way through 2008, that is a very good thing.
10. Speaking of 2008 draft picks that were choke artists, Bruce Davis looked pretty good.
11. So did Arnold Harrison. I don't mean to jinx him, but this looks like the year he makes the roster. He has been hurt a lot, so hopefully he dodges that (and my jinx). He was having a fantastic game before he finally made the stat sheet. At that point, he could be judged to have had a very fantastic game, so that's my judgment.
12. The refs took away the greatest play of Anthony Madison's career with that bogus pass interference penalty. I'm not bitter. I'm not complaining. I just feel bad for Anthony Madison.
13. Speaking of cornerbacks, Joe Burnett is the shit. I told you about this, you know this, but I'm just pointing out that I was right. Sure, he doesn't get that interception if Kurt Warner is throwing to Anquan Boldin, but he has great instincts and great return skills.
14. However, I don't feel good about our cornerback depth. I love Burnett, I think Keiwan Ratliff is a good player, but I won't feel safe if anything happens to Ike, Deshea, or Gay. The last two years, I would have been fine if anything happened to Ike, Deshea, or McFadden, because Gay would rise above his name. We don't have a Gay on the roster at this point. And there is something wrong with that.
    
15. Speaking of depth, we're stocked at linebacker and safety. We are also good to go at running back, quarterback (even if Dennis Dixon puts too much air under the ball), wide receiver (although Shaun McDonald seems to be fighting the ball), and offensive line (more of slight against the starters than an endorsement of the back-ups).
    
16. Mike Wallace is really, really fast. He reminds me of Willie Reid, but without the fragile-like-Samuel-L-in-Unbreakable downside and with the might-go-all-the-way-every-time-he-touches-the-ball upside. I'm okay with him just returning kicks.
17. Mike Wallace playing a game where the clock runs for 60 minutes. And there's even Dan's grumpy brother Andy in the mix. These jokes just write themselves.
18. I like Jon Gruden. And not just because he spent the game showering the Steelers with compliments. He had a great line on Ron Jaworski. Jaws said that he has watched every game in the NFL the last thirty years, but he can't watch Super Bowl XV. Gruden said, "I don't know what you mean. I watch the Super Bowl that I was in twice a day. What gives?" I always love it when someone busts Jaws' balls.
19. Not sold on Ziggy Hood. But I'm getting there. And anyone that thinks that he will replace Casey Hampton when Big Snack leaves after this season is out of their mind.
20. Speaking of defensive line depth, the average age of our defensive linemen is death. And we don't have adequate reserves. If anything happens to Kiesel, Smith, or Hampton, we're boned.
21. VULVA IS BACK! And he looked great. The Sepulverizer reminded Steeler fans of what they were missing and helped them to forget the dark days of Bitch Merger. We would've beat the Giants with a decent punter and gone 13-3 last year. Remember that. But, we maybe should've lost to Dallas at home and to the hated Ravens in Baltimore, so remember that.
    
22. Above all else, though, remember the fact that we won Super Bowl XLIII and became the first team in NFL history to capture six Lombardi Trophies. I think I may have mentioned that somewhere along the line.
    

I Told You So:

1. Michael Vick signed with the Eagles, not the Steelers. Best of luck with that. Then again, the last time Philly signed a controversial player, they went to the Super Bowl. So what do I know?
2. Joe Burnett is awesome. I will keep telling you so. Still don't trust him like I trusted my Gay, but I'm getting there.
3. Brett Favre will assassinate the Vikings season. I didn't tell you that before, but I'm telling you now. In fact...

Brett Favre:

The Vikings do not need Brett Favre. Tavaris Jackson was sufficient. Sage Rosenfels is Brett Favre without an arm. Brett Favre may not have an arm at this point. He is a gunslinger carrying a Derringer.

Minnesota has enough talent on the roster that they only needed a game manager with upside. The term "game manager" for a quarterback is often used as an insult, but it isn't. The Steelers did quite well with Neil O'Donnell, the quintessential game manager, for years. Kordell Stewart was a gunslinger with running back skills and a Derringer. Stewart never had the arm, never had the ability to carry a team. He's not as bad as people remember, but not good enough to go all the way.

A game manager with upside could have taken the Vikings to the Super Bowl. At that point, who knows? Crappy teams have won the Super Bowl. Teams with talented rosters and game managers with upside have won the Super Bowl. You just need to get there.

Tavaris Jackson can throw the 15-yard out. Tavaris Jackson does not turn the football over. Tavaris Jackson can make plays with his feet. Tavaris Jackson is a game manager with upside.

Brett Favre at this point is trying to write checks that his arm cannot cash. John Elway had the good sense to walk away. Dan Marino eventually got the message. So did Bradshaw and Unitas, although he tried to hang on too long on reputation. All Favre has is his legacy and his reputation. Both of those are about to be tainted.

Welcome Back!

I checked the ol' blog yesterday and realized that I didn't post anything, not one post, in July. It has, in fact, been six weeks since I posted something. Go me!

At any rate, a couple of things have transpired in those six weeks, so I'll try to break them down as much as possible.

Buccos:

1. Most folks are going to skip right past this, which is cool. Really, they suck. It's okay. Go ahead. I wish I could give them up, but, as I've said, I can't.
2. I'd like to be upset about all the trades. At this point, though, I'm more disappointed. I thought this was the year that we'd try to make a run at the .500 record that has eluded us for... 17 years? A long time. I'm also realistic.
3. We traded mostly bats that were underperforming, got some arms, and only traded Ian Snell, who was the eighth best starter we had and who assigned himself to the minors earlier in the season. I understand that the players and the fans are upset, but on the other side of it, it's not as though the front office broke up the '27 Yankees with all these moves.
4. Point blank, when you're past the All-Star break and your leader in home runs and RBIs has 12 and 48 respectively, but you're not 30 games under .500, then it's time to get some different hitters and keep your pitchers. Which is what we did. I'm actually in favor of everything but trading Grabow and Dirty Sanchez. And, really, I'm only upset about the loss of Dirty Sanchez because of the loss of the nickname.
5. I am still not optimistic about the future. We have the most toxic minor league system in baseball and the worst clubhouse for a player in join in history. All this young talent is only valuable if you can develop it. And I don't think we can.

Ben Roethlisberger:

1. I don't think he did it. I think that it's possible that he had sex with her -- which still counts as exercising poor judgment from the pictures that I've seen -- but I don't think he forced himself on her.
2. It's a civil case that was filed a year after the incident. Why not file a report right after it happened? Why isn't there a criminal investigation? Why wait until waaaaaaaay after anything can be discovered to open up discovery? Here's my feeling: There were ten people listed in the civil suit and Ben was the Kaiser Soze on the list. She's trying to hurt someone else on that list by filing a suit against a famous athlete in the offseason when media outlets are desperate to publish news. She's trying to get someone on that list's name drug through the mud and the Internet.
3. On the subject of media outlets, I think that it was very irresponsible journalism for ESPN to avoid the story completely. The day the news broke, there was nothing on ESPN.com. Nothing in the blogs, nothing in the breaking news, just nothing. I get that they thought it was frivolous and that Ben is an important athlete to them for interview purposes and access, but you have to report the news that's out there. The first item they ran was a video of Ben's statement. Just very, very irresponsible. The only reason to ignore the story would be if they had evidence to the contrary that would clear Roethlisberger beyond a shadow of a doubt. If ESPN were holding the smoking gun, why sit on it? Why not throw that headline up everywhere? "Ben Accuser's former pimp has the real story: 'That bitch be lyin'. Where's my baby powder?' You heard it here first!" It just doesn't make any sense.
4. Still... Ben's statement read like every statement by every famous person that did something wrong -- and ended up being guilty -- Ever. And why has this story vanished? I know it's a civil suit, but why hasn't Ben been called into Kaiser Goodell's office? All those factors, plus the ESPN blackballing of the story make me think that something shady is going on. And that's the shadow of a doubt.

Michael Vick:

1. Not getting signed by the Steelers while Dan Rooney is alive.
2. Even though there are other interests involved in the Steelers now, that's not a signing that Kevin Colbert would make. Vick would create a media circus. Everyone would question the move. They have cap room they could allocate to signing guys who will be free agents in 2010 to extensions. The man is suspended for the first six games of the season. He hasn't played football in over two years. He was kinda crappy before he went to jail. Do you imagine he's improved after two years in prison? Outside of all the badness that would come down on the Steelers, it's a bad football move. Not happening.

Heath Miller:

1. I attended a training camp practice last season. Heath Miller is the best tight end on the roster by a factor of 50. The guy is amazing.
2. So... you just gave him $35 million. That means you're going to throw to him, right?

Offensive Line:

1. I have been one of the biggest critics of this unit for the past 18 months or so. I have either drank the Koolaid, lost my mind, or I'm tired of seeing crappy run blocking and pass blocking and have convinced myself that it cannot possibly get worse, so it needs to get better.
2. Last season, we broke in three new starters. This season, unless Trai Essex beats out DFS, we're breaking in zero new starters. Continuity is key when it comes to the offensive line.
3. Remember 2003? Remember how bad the offensive line was? Remember 2004, after the new starters got comfortable with each other, everyone got healthy, and everyone gained some continuity? Well, in 2003, we went 6-10. I'm not sure you're aware, but we won Super Bowl XLIII following the 2008 season. If the offensive line gets better than they were following a season in which we won the Super Bowl, then I think that's an improvement I can get behind. I'm not looking for a 2003 to 2004 quantum leap. Baby steps is fine.
4. The 2007 Falcons had an offensive line that was worse than the 2008 Steelers offensive line. In 2008, the Falcons had one of the best offensive lines in football, particularly in the running game. In 2007, they were breaking in a bunch of new starters. In 2008, all those guys were together for a second season. Continuity.
5. As of this writing, Kendall Simmons was still a free agent. The 49ers signed Marvel Smith and he may not make the team. It's not like we broke up the '66 Packers.
6. Willie Parker returns in 2009 and returns healthy. It has been proven that a healthy Willie Parker makes the offensive line look better.
7. Rashard Mendenhall returns in 2009 and returns healthy. I'm anxious to see what he can do, if given a chance to carry the ball more than 19 times. He only had 19 carries in 2008. Jesus.
8. All due respect to Mewelde Moore, but he's a third down back. If Parker and Mendenhall stay healthy, that's where he stays.
9. I don't care that everyone is calling Frank Summers "Frank the Tank." I'm sticking with "Shortbus."
10. I'm talking about the running backs and not the offensive line, aren't I? It's time to move on.

The Upcoming Season:

1. The specter of 2006 hangs over us. After we won Super Bowl XL (I mentioned that we won that, right?), the team sputtered out of the gate to a 2-6 record and ended up salvaging things at 8-8.
2. In 2008, the Steelers won Super Bowl XLIII. Really, we won. You can look it up.
   
3. In 2006, Ben had a lot of distractions to deal with. In 2009, Ben has a distraction to deal with.
4. In 2006, the Steelers were considered to have a better-than-average chance of repeating. In 2009, the Steelers are considered to have a better-than-average chance of repeating.
5. In 2006, the Steelers played the AFC West. In 2009, the Steelers play the AFC West.
6. In 2006, Bill Cowher retired in March and forgot to tell anyone. In 2009, Mike Tomlin is going to continue to evaluate ways he can put his foot up a player's ass that doesn't want to give 100 percent effort.
7. Mike Tomlin is focused on 2009, not his future TV career or trying to commit his Shannon Sharpe to English Dictionary to memory.
8. Mike Tomlin will not allow this team to open up 2-6.
9. As a matter fact...

Mike Tomlin:

1. I have said previously that I am ridiculously huge Mike Tomlin fan. That having been said...
2. I recently got into an extensive, drunken conversation with someone about Tomlin vs. Cowher. The guy (who happened to be black) asserted that Tomlin inherited a talented a veteran team and that the 2008 championship belonged to Cowher.
3. Well, Cowher inherited a talented young team that was crappy in 1991, but that realized their potential as he lead them to a division title and an 11-5 record in 1992. But, look at the guys he already had: Dermonti Dawson, Thomas Everett, Rod Woodson, Greg Lloyd, Joel Steed, Yancey Thigpen, Neil O'Donnell, Barry Foster, and Carnell Lake. Not what Tomlin had, but still very impressive.
4. It took Cowher four years to get to a Super Bowl and 15 years to win one. It took Tomlin two and two.
5. Two years, postseason records: Cowher, 0-2, no titles, Tomlin 3-1, one title.
6. Okay, Tomlin inherited a more loaded roster, I'll admit. But, he also came into the full brunt of free agency, losing Alan Faneca. Once a team gets to the postseason, talent and experience by the players doesn't hurt, but it takes solid coaching and the ability overcome adversity to win it all. With everything the Steelers were up against last season, the 2008 Super Bowl season (we won Super Bowl XLIII, in case I hadn't mentioned) was the top coaching performance since Cowher unshackled himself and put everything on the line in 2005. And, for that title, you have to give some credit to a talented, veteran roster, right?
7. Therefore, I am prepared to make another Flacco Jersey-level bet. If the Steelers open up 2-6 under Tomlin in 2009, I will wear a Flacco jersey the rest of the season.

Fantasy Football:

1. I. Cannot. Wait.
2. My sleepers are: Willie Parker, Matt Schaub, Braylon Edwards, Chargers D/ST.
3. I don't trust Knowshon Moreno, but I do trust Beanie Wells.
4. I think Carson Palmer and Chad Ochocinco will have big years, but hopefully not against the Steelers.
5. Don't trust any Jets. I just have a feeling.

At this point, I got nothing. Hopefully that makes up for six weeks of no posting, but I doubt it. Leave ideas, questions, complaints in the comments section. It's lonely. It only has Keith to keep it company.