Smokin' Aces Review

I've got to say that the draft isn't even on my radar at this point. The Steelers never sign any free agents and the ones that they do sign end up being like Cedric Wilson and Duce Staley.

So, I'm going to write a review of the movie I saw tonight: Smokin' Aces.

This movie isn't going to be relevant in 10 years (probably not even in 3). It's not going to win any awards. It isn't doing terribly well at the box office. It's not a movie that you see to make yourself think. It's a movie that's all about Senseless Violence. And I loved it.

Now, there are three types of violence. There's Saving Private Ryan Violence, which makes you see the horror and the... well, senselessness of it all. There's Lion's Gate Violence (Saw I-III, The Descent) where you understand how much pain, gore, and suffering goes along with violence because they show it to you in obsessive detail and make sure that they drive the point home. Then, there's Senseless Violence, which might even inspire you to laugh at some points and is always expected, yet surprising.

I don't think that there has been a film in the last 15 years that has made the distinction between all these types of violence than Natural Born Killers. Some people may think that this is a stupid observation. Well, some people are stupid themselves and they don't write this blog. So there.

At any rate, Smokin' Aces is full and I mean chocked full of senseless violence. Several moments where you see a car drive by and think, "The dudes that are standing by joking with each other are so dead," then are still surprised when they do actually get blown away. You see a bunch of hyper neo-Nazis crammed in an elevator with hatchets and chainsaws and think, "Wow. This will end badly." Yet, you're still surprised and amused when it does.

Really, I'm curious as to why more movies like this aren't made. I mean, sometimes you just need to watch a bunch of people be crazy, depraved, and psychotic, right? I spent the entire day wanting to put at least 6 people through a wall at work. I couldn't do that, obviously, but I wanted to see pain and suffering. I wanted to see blood. I wanted to see violence. I wanted to see some poor son of a bitch get shot for no reason because, somehow, he deserved it.

I'm sure other people feel this way. Why haven't they embraced it? They have those charity events where you get to bash a car with a baseball bat or drop your boss into a tub full of pig entrails by throwing a ball.

Do these events serve a purpose? Do they make us better, more evolved people?

Hell no. But, they're fun. They're a release. They're a way to live in a world without consequence where you can enjoy watching someone slip and acidentally sit on a chainsaw. These things would happen if you took morality and sanity out of the equation.

And, let's be honest, isn't that how Hollywood started? The Oscars have taken entertainment and willing suspension of disbelief and completely shat all over it. Hollywood is taking itself too seriously and they need to be stopped.

The only way to do that is to keep making films like Smokin' Aces, Crank, The Transporter, pretty much any movie with Jason Statham or John Cena.

I wasn't blown away by Smokin' Aces, but I was entertained. I felt like I got my money's worth. I went out looking for a lot of explosions, hatchet play, and absurd discharges of ammunition.

And I was not disappointed.