16 Reasons the Jaguars Make Me Poop My Pants

Yeah. A Monday night game, then a Sunday night game. We get to watch Hank Williams, Jr. tear it up one week, then watch Faith Hill mail it in the next. Then we get to watch the Steelers, so it's not all bad.

1. So, everyone knows that Willie's hurt, Mendenhall's on IR, Davis is hurt, and we have some combination of Mewelde Moore, Najeh, and Gary Russell for this game, right? Everyone's aware of that? Just want to make sure. Because, ya know, it sucks and all.
2. Games against the hated Ravens always end with injuries and the team being tired as hell the next week. Games against Jacksonville always end with injuries and the team being tired as hell the next week. We got them back-to-back. That's awesome. The good news is that, if we live through this game, there won't be another shitty two game stretch like this for the rest of the season.
3. The bad news, of course, is that everyone should be dead by halftime.
4. Looks like DFS will line up at right guard in place of Kendall Simmons. And Willie Colon will be at right tackle. And Max Starks and his $7 million salary will be chilling on the bench, drinking Gatorade. And that blows. DFS will have had an entire week of practice and should know where to go and what to do. Although I like Simmons, I never thought that he was ever that fantastic of a right guard, so I don't think that the injury will affect the offensive line too much. Really, I'm just upset that Starks isn't good enough to land a starting spot on a wounded line.
5. The Jaguars traded Marcus Stroud in the offseason, so the interior of the defensive line isn't as tough as it once was, but John Henderson, who runs about 7' and 820 pounds, still takes up a lot of space and is very good. Not that we have ever run the ball well against the Jaguars, but the one advantage we had, at least recently, was that Willie was fast enough to get to the edge and go around all those big dudes in the middle. With the cast of characters we have now? Not so much.
6. Where Jacksonville has some pretty big holes is in the secondary. They have a bunch of guys that are good -- Rashean Mathis might actually even be great -- but no one that consistently cover Hines and Santonio, to say nothing of the fact that, at some point before I die, the Steelers will get Heath involved in the passing game.
7. I think we're reaching a critical point in Ben Roethlisberger's development. He had a major breakthrough against the hated Ravens, was more vocal than he's ever been, and the Steelers came back and won. With a big time quarterback and a big time kicker, as I mentioned, we can do a lot of damage. That Monday night game could be a turning point for the entire franchise -- not just this season, but for the rest of Ben's career -- or it could be just another game where we overcame a ten point deficit at halftime and ended up winning the game in overtime. Only one way to be sure.
8. The Jaguars run defense makes me poop my pants. They're very, very good. Add to that the fact that we're pulling people out of the stands to play tailback and DFS is now our starting right guard, and the odds are not good that we'll be able to run the ball at all. We seriously could end up with 18 carries for 14 yards, or something crazy like that. So, armed with that knowledge, then also considering that the Jacksonville secondary is just okay, we need to put this game in Ben's hands. And, I'm not talking something moderate like, "We should throw more than usual." I'm talking about lining up with three wide receivers and Heath, keeping Moore in at tailback (he's a third down guy, right? So, just pretend like it's always third down), and just running a no-huddle offense all game. Getting Ben 35 or 40 pass attempts. Maybe running some draws out of the shotgun. If we're going to throw the ball, we need to commit. If we run the ball into the line again and again, we're just going to get beat up. This team, as it stands, is just not physical enough to match the Jags defense blow-for-blow, so we really shouldn't even try. It will then be up to the defense to establish a physical presence.
9. You can't beat the Jaguars by prancing around and relying on skill. They'll walk up to you, kick you in the stones, and say, "Pirouette your way out of that, you little sissy boy." You can beat them if you're willing to go toe-to-toe with them in one phase of the game, though.
10. Jacksonville has had a lot of injuries on the offensive line, too. As a matter of fact, both their guards and their center have yet to play this season. They've adjusted, but they don't have their A-game guys in there. They squeaked by the Colts and the Texans, but they really haven't had a great game yet. In order to make sure that Sunday night's game isn't their first great game of the season, we need to attack those three guys in the middle and make a point to make them pay.
11. Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor are both really, really good. Even though Jones-Drew is about three feet shorter than Taylor, they're pretty much interchangable. Jacksonville throws to Jones-Drew more than they throw to Taylor, and they'll run Taylor inside more than they'll run Jones-Drew inside, but that's about it as far as differences are concerned. The one thing both guys need is room to run. The one place where they both run well is inside. So, now would be a good time to remind everyone that their three interior linemen are replacement players. Again, need to take advantage of that. If their scrubs can push us around, it's going to be a loooooooong night.
12. David Garrard isn't as fast as Michael Vick, but he's a big, powerful dude. He showed that in last year's playoff game. He showed that he can be an accurate passer and he showed that he can run right over or right around someone if he needs to. The best way to contain him is to pressure him. If you attack him on the edges, he's going to stiff arm the little dude that's coming at him, then run up the middle for 15 yards and a first down. The one place you can pressure him is right up the middle. He doesn't go east-to-west very well and doesn't throw well on the run. And, people that blitz up the middle are usually bigger guys that Garrard can't just push out of the way. So... I did mention that there are three new starters on the offensive line... right?
13. Jerry Porter has come back and Matt Jones is starting to be less crappy but, in general, their receivers are pretty terrible. If you want to play a pick-up basketball game, these are your guys, because they're all big and tall. They just don't seem to be very good football players. They don't fight for the ball, they don't run great routes, and they actually aren't that great at catching the ball.
14. The one thing they do do well, though, is run the slant. They ran about 128 of those against Houston and completed almost all of them. Their guys are so big that can jam the cornerback, turn their shoulder, and completely box the defender out, catching the ball and falling forward for about 8 or 9 yards. The way you stop that is by hitting these dudes hard, playing close to the line of scrimmage, and dropping your linebackers into the area of the field between the quarterback and the receiver. If enough of those slant passes get knocked down or intercepted, I have a feeling they'll stop throwing them.
15. Problem is, when you gear up to stop the slant, you leave yourself open to the deep ball. That's why they need to have Ryan Clark play center field and basically keep these big fuckers in front of him. That leaves Troy free to prowl around and get into adventures.
16. Ben's the x-factor on offense and Troy's going to need to be the x-factor on defense. We need to blitz him, we need to put him in the box in run support, we need to move him all over the field and make sure that the Jaguars have to keep tabs on him at all times. If they're overly concerned with him, they'll miss the other guys that we have on defense that can ruin their day. Guys like LaMarr Woodley and James Harrison. Guys like Timmons and Aaron Smith. I really think Troy's back to his 2005 form, so we need to make sure that we use him just like we used him back then. It worked out pretty well for that LeBeau-coached defense and it will work out well for this one.

It's going to take a big effort from everyone involved and it's definitely not going to be easy. In order to win, the Steelers are going to need to do things that are waaaaay outside their comfort zone. If they can do those things, though, I really think they can win.

We have sucked giant donkey balls in Jacksonville (and, really, against Jacksonville) the past five years or so, but I think that, with the new era starting and the turning point having already been established, we can get off the schneid and beat the Jaguars.

Prediciton:

Steelers 21, Jaguars 13