Steelers vs. The Evil Empire Preview

Okay...

I'm tired, gooned out on cold medication, and mostly drunk. I think I'm in the correct head space to write this preview.

Someone asked me earlier today if I thought the Steelers could beat the Patriots. Ultimately, my answer was yes. We can beat the Patriots and the Evil Empire of Darth Brady and Grand Moff Bellichick and... Admiral Moss? Do I think we actually will? No.

See, for years the Patriots have been a savvy, smart team that keeps it close, beats the teams they're supposed to beat, and makes enough plays to come out on top at the final gun. This season, they suddenly have way more talent than everyone else in the NFL and they aren't only beating the teams they're supposed to beat, they're killing them. For the most part, though, the teams they've destroyed have been the crappy teams in their division.

Think about it. The Ravens came into the Monday night game against us expecting Ben to be a scared, little kitten, wilting under pressure and coughing up turnovers. They expected us to run first and ask questions (and, maybe if we were in the mood and not too frightened) pass later. We came out slinging, they turned the ball over a few times, and we were up 35-7 at halftime.

So, really, these are two completely different teams than the squads that faced off three times between Halloween 2004 and late September 2005. Seriously. Both teams are very different. Both teams like to pass the ball more now. Both teams have more talented wide receivers (though the arrow points significantly in favor of the Patriots on this one). We still have Ben, they still have Brady, but the offensive lines are basically the same.

The primary difference is that New England really only has two chinks in its might armor...

1. They can't run the ball.
2. They are fucking old. Like, think of how old George Burns was. Then multiply that by 100. Then add Bob Hope (not in his prime, the guy that interrupted Congress when they falsely announced that he was dead, only to have him hang on for a few more years). They. Are. Fucking. Old. At least on defense.

These are the biggest things that the hated Ravens and Eagles exposed the past two weeks. If you line up a quality tailback, hand the ball to him and throw the ball to him, they will give up yards to that gentleman in bunches. The Colts kind of exposed this with Joseph Addai, but there were so many penalties in that game that went for Indianapolis that it's hard to tell.

The thing about the defenses that the Eagles and the hated Ravens unleashed upon the Patriots is that they had the guys to pull it off. I don't think we have those guys. Unless Clark Haggans and James Harrison play completely out of their minds, like Harrison did against the hated Ravens on Monday night, we just don't have the horses.

The only other thing that we have working in our favor is the Expectation of the Perfect Season. When the '72 Dolphins went for perfection, the NFL was still a fledgling league that had their little deal with Congress and their merger. They had to give away tickets to the first few Super Bowls. If some beat writer wanted to come up with a story, Miami was a nice place for sun and hot women. But, it wasn't THE story. Right now, the NFL is king. There are more NFL related stories in the OFFSEASON on most days than there are in any other sport. The Quest for the Perfect Season is a bigger story than the Patriots. It's a bigger story than anything. Win and you're immortalized. Lose, and you're just another footnote on the path to perfection.

The pressure is mounting, regardless of whether or not the players on New England's roster choose to acknowledge it or not.

Those are the intangibles that we can cling to. Old roster. Complete lack of a running game. Perfect Season. Can we take advantage of it? Yes. Do I think we will? No.

BUT, if we can come off the line firing, if we can open holes for Fast Willie, if we can protect Ben against the bevy of weird packages that Bellichick is going to send at him, if Willie can finally jump cut and bust long runs to the outside on the SLOW AND OLD linebackers for the Patriots, if we can change our game plan on offense in the passing game from deep outs, comebacks, and fly routes, and if we can pressure Brady with four or five guys while covering Moss, Welker, and Stallworth with the rest... we can win.

Do I think we can do it? Yes. Do I think we will? No.

Prediction: New England 38, Steelers 21