Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Keller's Picks, Week 15

(Click here to see current NFL Pick Em standings -- week-by-week and YTD.)

Jacksonville at Atlanta:
Atlanta is tough at home, they're still playing for something, their run defense is good enough to contain MJD, the Jags changed everything but the receptionist that answers the phone this week, and they don't have anything to play for.  Um... maybe The Major Appliance puts it all together this week?  I think not.

Dallas at Tampa:
I know it's Romo in December, but Tampa is awful.  I don't care that they're at home.  They're a mess.

Carolina at Houston:
Everyone loves TJ Yates now that he's 2-0 and has proved to be clutch, but I'm unconvinced.  But, still gotta take the Texans at home given the fact that they're facing a horrid run defense and they have Arian Foster and Ben Tate.  Also, I think the Houston D tries to honor Wade Philips by murdering Cam Newton.

Washington at NY Giants:
Giants stay on a roll, Redskins continue to try to convince Dan Snyder to make yet another coaching change.

Miami at Buffalo:
I picked the Dolphins last week and they let me down.  Then they fired James Gandolfini.  And they're on the road.  Even given all that, the Bills have about 615 key guys on IR (damn you Fred Jackson!) and I think the fact that some guys for Miami are still playing for their jobs turns the tide in their favor.

Seattle at Chicago:
Wow.  This... this game is gonna be hard to watch.  I really have no idea who will win.  My only hope is that this game is somehow blacked out.  When in doubt, take the home team.

NOLA at Minnesota:
The Saints have not played great on the road, but Minnesota plays in a dome.  Drew Brees loves him some sweet, sweet dome action.  Plus which, the Vikings are awful.

Cincinnati at St. Louis:
You know who's more awful than the Vikings?  The Rams.  They're on their third string quarterback, their eighth string cornerback, and Steven Jackson is probably hoping that The Rapture comes so that this will all end and he can die dreadlocked, respected, and rich.

Tennessee at Indianapolis:
Three road teams in a row.  Wow.  Well, so, Indy's gotta win a game eventually, right?  Right?  Eh.  Not on Sunday.

Green Bay at Kansas City:
That Aaron Rodgers, he's pretty good.  He's got a QBERT rating that's approaching the coveted 100 mark.  The Chiefs might start Ricky Stanzi, who kinda looks like Spicoli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but not as dynamic.  The Packers are gonna win this game and Todd Haley got fired, so I'm gonna leave you with this.

Detroit at Oakland:
Need to pick a home team, I'm still off the Lions bandwagon, and the Raiders are finally getting healthy.

New England at Denver:
Never bet against Football Jesus.  Wait.  I got that wrong.  Here's the thing: No one has come up with a way to stop the rolling Holy Hand Grenade that is Football Jesus, but he hasn't faced Bill Belichick yet and Belichick is the closest thing NFL coaching ranks have to an anti-Christ.  You take the devil you know over the Football Jesus you can't quantify on the QBERT scale.  Also, never bet against Tom Brady.

NY Jets at Philadelphia:
The Eagles can't stop the run, the Jets always turn it on in December, and I think Rex Ryan wants to make a statement.  Philly is still favored in this game and I'm not sure why.  Because they're at home?  Because they beat Miami last week?  I'm really not sure.

Cleveland at Arizona:
So, the Browns are on the road and they couldn't manage to beat the Steelers last week when they were facing a one-legged quarterback.  Add to the mix that their quarterback may not be sure what day it is and you've got an easy pick: Steelers West.

Baltimore at San Diego:
Maybe I'm just being optimistic.  But, the Chargers players really seem to want to rally to save Norv Turner's job (for reasons that I don't understand) and they usually play out of their minds in December.  They're big and physical on offense and defense and they match up well against the hated Ravens.  If this game were in Baltimore, I'd have to take them.  I just think that the desperation for San Diego, the December mojo, and the home crowd carry the Chargers.

Steelers at San Francisco:
This is assuming Ben Roethlisberger plays.  If Dennis Dixon or Charlie Batch starts, then the 49ers take this one.  I think San Francisco will be fired up for this game and most of the players on this squad are not accustomed to playing on Monday night.  I think that the Steelers with Roethlisberger can overcome that.  The Steelers without Roethlisberger do not.

Line of the Week:
Arizona (-6.5) over Cleveland.  They're at home, Cleveland sucks, and the Cardinals are kind of hitting their stride right now.  If a concussed Colt McCoy strolls onto the field, Arizona wins by at least a touchdown.

Moneyline of the Week:
Jets (+130) over Eagles.  I honestly don't know how Philly is favored in this game.  By three points.  Did Rex Ryan have some kind of leaked foot fetish video where he's sucked on Mark Sanchez's toes and that would cause a distraction?  I'm stumped.

Over/Under of the Week:
Carolina at Houston (45, UNDER).  I think the Texans take the air out of the ball and keep this one tight.  They've been involved in low scoring games since Yates took over.  Plus which, it's going to be hard for the Panthers to score a bunch of points if Cam Newton ends up murdered.

Atlanta over Jacksonville
Dallas over Tampa
Houston over Carolina
NY Giants over Washington
Miami over Buffalo
Chicago over Seattle
NOLA over Minnesota
Cincinnati over St. Louis
Tennessee over Indianapolis
Green Bay over Kansas City
Oakland over Detroit
New England over Denver
NY Jets over Philadelphia
Arizona over Cleveland
San Diego over Baltimore
Steelers over San Francisco


  1. Good week last week fellas! Sorry but Keller you're gonna drop those last 2 picks on your list.

  2. Yeah, you had a good week, too (same picks as me). I actually feel better about the Charger upset pick than I do about the Steeler victory pick.

    If Roethlisberger doesn't play, Steelers lose for sure and it's not going to be easy even if he plays.